Yeah. I didn't explain everything, we just were talking about why people are killing, and I thought we were talking about the same thing, but also it made sense to talk about it as a team.
So...Buzen told us that Count D got a message on his phone saying he had to kill somebody. Same thing for Libby.
...Rang told me about the message Count D received after you and I talked, Ylfa. He theorized that Libby might have, but didn't know if she had for sure.
Libby was surprised I knew about the messages. She didn't confirm she got one, but-- [ well. he didn't expect her to. her reaction was surprise enough to suggest she got one. ]
Aika says that the old game that Nahida's message mentioned involved someone killing every week, so that's why they might be trying to do it here, too.
...most things have some kind of reason, even if the reason isn't one that we're easily able to understand, or even if they're arbitary.
I don't think it would hurt to understand why the people who were giving the instructions for this Game felt that it needed to be done the way it was. If we can understand their mindsets and their motivations, we can better predict what else they might throw at us, and prepare for it.
I was told it was strange that this one didn't seem to have anything put in place, initially. Supposedly. But since we were so clearly ready to defy the rules, they intervened.
[i still have some in-progress threads with the people in question so please forgive me if i have nahida not recognize something early in this thread and then suddenly have her act like she knew it all along later aaaaaaaaa]
Mhm. It'll be good for us all to talk as a group, though.
Right, yes, well-- We wanted to share with you a message. I got one after the little adventure we had on Thursday. From what I understand the group you went with did as well?
[ he'll pull out his phone and show her (and the rest of Go to Sleep) the message:
Bring them from different worlds. Erase worlds of those who fail to win. This will be a better system for the future. ]
... For what it's worth, I asked Aika about it. She seems to think it could either be true or false, which I know is all of the options it could be, but the fact they don't know if it's true outright is something, anyway?
[she hides even further in her hood when he shows this.]
Yeah it - we weren't sure what to do about this. Because if people believe it's true, it'll be bad, but... also, everybody who went with Gerard has this, so most of the teams saw it anyway.
Monika had already shown her team by the time I brought it up with her, and I didn't hide that I had told Froggystyle, of course. But we wanted to share with you as well. Even field and all.
Aika seemed to think more than likely it applied to us.
But she also said that - clearly these messages aren't intended for us. There's no sender. So why would we get them at all? It sounds like pretty good motivation to go out and start ... erasing and all, so why wouldn't they tell us at the start if they wanted us to do that.
So they might have given it to us intentionally, for the drama. It doesn't mean that it's real.
When I asked they said it was probably some kind of technological glitch that was responsible for our receiving them. But if it's happened again, specifically just for people who had an experience like you and I did... I agree it feels very intentional.
The way they're written... they're instructions for setup of the game. So, it's possible that something might have changed between when these messages were originally sent and when it actually began. But we won't know that for sure until we have the whole picture.
I'm nervous, too. ...hopefully whoever receives it will be willing to share. I did tell the others in your group that I had received something and that they may want to keep an eye out for it, but...
[sweats in in progress threads i don't know if any of them are going to reciprocate with the information once the threads get to that point]
Oh. I can tell you that they all got the same message. Though I will say none of them volunteered it without me saying it first which is a little rude.
We all did, too, so I thought that would be the case for your group as well. I didn't tell you, because... I'd already told Ylfa, and I figured she would have told you right away.
...I was hoping sharing it with the others would encourage them to share it with me in turn. But... that may not be something that works for everyone here.
[Kaveh would make a comment here like "that's what princes do though isn't it" except he also went through the horrible CYOA experience so instead he just offers Gerard a sympathetic smile.]
I understand. I'm sorry you had to endure something like that.
[ listen, there are different types of princes. charming princes and brave princes and handsome princes and he is a frog prince. no one has ever asked him to be brave. now kaveh is just being nice about it. ]
[at least tell the lie to someone who wasn't on a cyoa and didn't know that every member of a cyoa group got a message, damn. nahida looks like she's judging simon a little.]
Even if you did that, you'd have to coordinate it with your whole group. If the other three all admitted to receiving the same one while you claimed something else, that would stand out in the same way as claiming not to have received anything at all.
[she is just not very impressed with simon at the moment]
But it doesn't sound like he thought that far ahead.
[ woah nahida, the mind games... this is above his level ]
I don't know that anyone else is sharing. I thought someone might tell you all before we did.
Simon was probably relying on us not communicating. Because he's not the type to do it, himself. [ or, perhaps, more graciously: ] Could be that he's afraid of people acting on this information, too.
There are good reasons not too share it too widely. I just don't understand why he would say "I didn't get anything" rather than "I just don't want to tell you".
A lie would be a little too easily disproven, especially if it was told to someone else who was in the same situation as him the week before. "I don't want to say" is at least more understandable, if a little frustrating.
[if simon is potentially lying to his teammates...
she frowns a little.]
And just from how Amelia's behaved so far... I'll be honest, it doesn't seem like something she would have an easy time keeping from the group of large.
But if you could tell us if Shenhe heard this from Livio already—...I want to know who to trust. [ because maybe this is all a misunderstanding, but he'd also just assumed simon was an okay guy, and would generally prefer to keep thinking that. ]
[she's nodding like she's internalizing this deeply.]
Just because someone seems nice and has a cute monkey doesn't mean they're going to be honest with you. I wonder if the other members of Justice know, too?
...If Livio knew, he'd tell me. But he probably assumes that we know from Gerard, anyway. And I don't want to like... [hmm. she trails off, but she has some weird feelings.]
If his team made a strategic decision or something, I don't want to manipulate his feelings. Maybe it's okay if we don't trust each others' teams.
As long as you feel comfortable asking... it may be a good idea to see how that information is being shared within his team.
[because uhhh if simon is just lying and not sharing info with his own teammates what other kinds of things will he do without telling them? wildcards do make things more interesting, but the situation they're all in is precarious enough without them.]
[He offers her a small smile, an attempt at being reassuring.]
I do mean it when I say I understand. This is dangerous information when we can't guarantee that it's false. But like Nahida said--Shenhe is from Teyvat, and... [Well. He's just really attached to Wolfwood and Vash so there's bias there. But also--] ...it seems like wherever we went on our "special mission" borrowed from her memories. I think she has a right to know.
But I do want to make sure it doesn't push her to do anything reckless. So we'll have to be careful about it.
...I wouldn't feel comfortable keeping it from Shenhe. [And honestly the rest of Shenhe's team too but this is a more rational answer.] There are others I'd like to tell, but... I don't want to push anyone into frightened violence. If they're upset with us for keeping quiet, I'll take responsibility.
A while ago, Shenhe seemed a little worried that she... [Hm. How to say it.] ...might act against the wishes of her team. I asked Shenhe to tell me, if she felt as though things were getting out of her control. [If she was beginning to feel desperate enough to do a harm, basically.] So... it might be best if Nahida and I are the ones to tell her.
It's more like--she made a joke about being "the one to worry about." But I got the feeling it wasn't really a joke. I don't know what they've talked about specifically.
I like Shenhe. ...Wolfwood is okay too. You guys can tell them, when you think it's a good time to.
[ it feels wrong to just keep things to people they like, because if that were the metric, he's pretty sure they'd just tell everybody. but after this weekend, it's easier to draw some lines.
also this is very sweet, but he shakes his head. ]
We're doing this together. Don't take responsibility for everyone.
Speaking generally, I think... it's better for people to make informed decisions. But until we have more pieces of this puzzle, I am a little worried it might do more harm than good.
[but she looks conflicted.]
...but, I do want to at least tell A Peace Sign. Shenhe... she's from Teyvat, just like Kaveh and me.
When I talked to Matsui on Saturday, he was - thinking this was true hurt him so, so much. It didn't make him decide to fight, it made him think he had to, and those are two different things.
...Alex told me that those who are Erased--at least for now, they're still around in some capacity. Just on a different "frequency" from the rest of us. [...] I'd like to think that he and Buzen found each other again there. I promised him that I would keep looking for a better way, like Buzen wanted to. That's the best thing we can do for them now.
Ruby told her, apparently. Though, I recall hearing that after everything's over, the Erased go to their own world's afterlives, wasn't it? So I imagine it's just until the game is over.
I mean, I haven't confirmed it directly. That's something we should do. But I'd imagine they have to be somewhere, if the winning team has the option to bring someone back.
[Or multiple someones?? He doesn't know if it's one member or multiple]
Ruby also told me that every world has its own game--this one and the one in our message seem to be the only two that have involved crossover. I'm a little curious to know why they're doing it again now, given that the last one was years ago.
It might not be real, okay? It might just be a trick to try to get us to kill each other more, like you were saying. I really...don't want anyone else to get hurt by this.
..."erase worlds of those who fail to win"? But they've brought some of us from the same worlds.
[and not every castmate is on the same team...]
But it is telling that they don't know if this is applicable to the Game we're playing now. The problem is going to be if this convinces people to choose erasure in an attempt to win the game.
I would think that - would make you safer, right? If you've got people from the same world? If they're saying they won't erase the world of the winners, then ...
Prepping for new Game. You will each need to volunteer one of your best Reapers temporarily for it. Up to you to decide who fits criteria of 'best.' Cannot give much info on setup, but it is based on that one Game from a few years back. You know the one. Comply with instructions ASAP.
Signed, ████ ██████]
I asked Kiichi about it, but he didn't seem to think it was anything significant. Ruby mentioned that the previous Game they're talking about was the first one that brought people from other worlds together.
Well, taking inspiration from something doesn't necessarily mean every aspect of it will be identical. But if we can find things that worked well for the players of that game, and if we can learn about how it ended... we can try the things that worked for them and attempt to avoid the things that didn't.
Essentially. He said it was likely something passed around by the higher-ups in preparation for this game, and that it came to us through some kind of technological error. Supposedly, such things aren't uncommon. But if your group got one as well, that seems doubtful.
...I can't figure out if the reapers really are as uninvolved as they say. They make it sound like they have barely any contact with those in power.
...some organizations don't make their highest leadership all that accessible to the people at the lower levels. So it's not impossible, but... it also seems strange to me that their higher-ups would give them such detailed instructions, but then be so hands-off once the Game actually began.
They're clearly keeping tabs on us, if they're pushing us to move this way. [He does not want to think about Libby because he will get too angry so he focuses on D, who also makes him angry but at least isn't quite as fresh of a betrayal.] But I have no idea how to circumvent things to get to them. We can't even try to reply to this message.
I think so. He did ask me if I'd spoken to anyone else about it already before he told me, so part of me wonders if he would have lied if he didn't think I could have heard it from another source.
...for transparency's sake, what I told him was that I had warned others in the group that they might be receiving a message but I had gone a while without hearing anything, so I thought I should follow up. It's possible he might have told me because he thought I might ask someone else next.
He's a very nervous person, and we don't know each other that well. He had no guarantee what I'd do with that information--I don't hold it against him.
I do hope he was working up to telling his team, though.
[He is willing to give Simon the benefit of the doubt but if Livio was wronged it's over for him]
[i like to imagine kaveh and nahida are both sitting in their warehouse and if he looks over he'll just see her frowning at the very idea that simon would think kaveh would do anything wrong with that information. like, hello? she trusts kaveh with her life.]
It's definitely possible he was just being cautious. The way he asked if I'd spoken with anyone else about it first does stand out to me, though.
I didn't explicitly say I knew, just mentioned that I was following up with him after I hadn't heard anything... so maybe he expected me to follow up with the rest of his group if I didn't get any information from him.
Good, I'm glad he knows. [Kaveh stop adopting people challenge. Also the thread isn't super far so this may change but:] We told Shenhe we were going to gather more information, but I would operate on the assumption that A✌️ knows as well.
[Since they didn't tell Shenhe to keep it a secret from her team, but ultimately it's her decision.]
I'd assume that anything Vash and Wolfwood know would get back to him eventually anyway, unless they keep quiet for personal reasons.
[He loves the Triguns but he doesn't like. Know all their business. So for all he knows Vash and Wolfwood might try to protect him... or maybe none of them talk!! Who knows.]
I would like to think that, were we to ask him to keep things to himself and gave him good reason to do so, he would listen. But I acknowledge that I can't speak from an unbiased perspective, here.
[when your heart wants to Trust but you're a scholar and also not an idiot about being in a team game... the struggle is real...]
it looks like they're really going for world erasure. they're really stubborn that way, aren't they? at least the winner can use their points to also bring others back to the realground, but i'm afraid i don't really think they'd be able to save too many unless they really work for it with how much it costs. what a shame, isn't it? i hope this group won't be anti-violence.
The bit about hoping we won't be anti-violence at the end...
It more or less confirms what people have been saying: that the points we earn from our tasks are much less compared to the points earned from erasure. If we're too pacifistic, we may not have the points we need to save anyone.
I do worry that we don't have the full picture yet. We learn a little more from these messages each week, and they seem to be pointing in a certain direction. But what happens if as a group we go past the point of no return, and it turns out it wasn't what we thought?
But on the other hand... what if it is what it sounds like, and by waiting for confirmation, we lose our chance?
I also worry about how... chaotic it might be, if too many people see this message, and decide to take things into their own hands.
But... sometimes, when people are desperate, they don't think things through. And sometimes when they want to help, they get so focused on trying to that they don't consider the big picture.
The teams that are likely closest to first place right now... [meaning. the teams of the killers who got caught and wHOEVER KILLED THIS PAST WEEK, which she has suspicions about.] ...do we feel like we could trust them if we helped them into the lead?
id trust most teams to revive everyone else everyone ive spoken to is a decent person hoping for the best of a bad game if that werent true wed all be dead already
but even if were allies you guys have to decide for yourselves
I can't speak for Shu and Nahida, of course But if this seems like our most viable option, I would be okay with it, depending on who the leading team is
[He. Does not want Sweet Theory to win but he won't say that]
But I don't know how we can figure out who that is besides guessing
SWEET BECKS IS ASLEEP BUT I ASSUME SHU IS HERE AND JUST SILENTLY LISTENING FOR NOW we can retcon Shu's reactions later,,, Nahida is almost certainly here too I'm sure I'm guessing Britt will jump in. Maybe. Or maybe it's just Kaveh getting T-posed at by a frog, a 12-year-old, and a dolphin.
EITHER WAY, Kaveh will indeed show up!! HE IS STILL EXHAUSTED AND HUNGOVER??? WE JUST WATCHED A SNAKE MAN GET VORED LIKE 8 HOURS AGO. WHY IS THIS THE WORST BIRTHDAY TO EVER HAVE
But at least he's not, like, nyooming at them in a rage, so probably he isn't going to. Idk. Healing aura them to death on a Sunday? Who knows. His expression is very tightly controlled, though, and he crosses his arms almost soon as he arrives, curling his fingers into the fabric of his shirt. His gaze flicks to each of them in turn, as if, even now, he's trying not to make them feel pressured.]
[the longer he takes the more convinced she is that he's mad, so by the time he gets there she's sort of shrinking back between gerard and haru, hiding under her cape.
but she'll speak up when he speaks first.]
Kaveh, um. You don't really have to promise not to be mad. But if we tell you about this, and you tell anyone else, then...we'll probably die.
If you don't think you can be okay with not telling anyone, then we can not tell you, and we can agree to not be an alliance anymore. And you can be mad. Just please don't get us erased, or it will all be for nothing.
[ he’s watching this all very carefully - and is stepping to least beside Ylfa. It’s not that he thinks Kaveh, Nahida and Shu are a danger or anything, but just. He wants to be there too. A little protective. ]
Even if you don’t want to hear about that, I’m more than happy to share what I’ve spoken with the Reapers about. It might help, or it might not.
[ haru stays put when ylfa turns herself extra small, his expression very still, like it's a very deliberate effort to be calm. he doesn't have anything to add right now. ]
But--no, he doesn't look mad. If anything, his expression shifts into something just a little heartbroken at the clear wariness and fear they're showing, even though he does, of course, logically understand where it's coming from.
He has a feeling he already knows how this is going to go, if this is the way they're reacting. Rather--he has since Ylfa's first message. It was too late to walk away the moment the idea entered his head, and he can't leave without confirming one way or the other. No decent scholar walks away just because they don't like what they see.
And besides, his own failures aren't their fault.]
I want to know. All of it. [...] It's up to Nahida and Shu, what they want to do. But I don't want to get you erased.
[But he'll let Nahida and Shu say their pieces, if they have any, because Kaveh knows he's too emotional for things like this. If there are any stipulations here, any conditions to this conversation, he won't be the one to say them.]
[nahida has had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach since she started reading over some of the messages. maybe she just hadn't wanted to believe it - maybe that was why she hadn't addressed some of it.
(she didn't want to jump to conclusions. something about this week has left her severely questioning her own judgment, her own logic, and her own reasoning - so she hadn't pressed the matter.)
but now, there's not really anything to question. there are answers, if ylfa, gerard, and haru will give them - and in her heart, she does believe that they will.
...she's holding onto kaveh's and shu's hands, though, if they'll let her.]
I want to know, too. Just having heard what I have already... so many questions are buzzing in my mind. It's like a noise that I can't block out. [...] I can't promise about how I'll react. But I can promise that I don't want to see you erased. You're... you're my friends.
shu initially follows up behind the two of them — walking at a more sedate pace. he doesn’t looked stressed, or nervous, anything like that. he just looks calm. it’s not emotions week after all, so who knows how he’s feeling inside.
he’ll let nahida grip his hand, once he catches up with the others. but he does glance to one side at kaveh and nahida before he looks back at ylfa, gerard and haru. ]
[she takes a deep breath as they gather, obviously kind of nervous, but eventually she'll just blurt out - ]
I didn't cut her head off to be a freak! My ax slipped out of my hands and went into a tornado! [a situation that could happen to anybody.] And I only put her in Selfie World because I thought she'd want to be remembered looking beautiful, but I couldn't get her head back on so it came across differently than I intended.
I'm sorry for doing something so horrible like a serial killer would. I promise I didn't take a photo with her dead body to keep as a trophy or anything, I promise! I picked her because she told me every week that the longer I waited, the harder it might be to catch up, and she was the only one smart enough to realize that. But I never wanted to make fun of her or desecrate her. I'm really, really sorry for being so gross!
[ he, uh, swallows hard before he starts because this one is probably going to be a lot worse, but they’d said they’d want to know (and had promised to never ever be mad). ]
I killed Shenhe.
[ he at least speaks steadily enough, even if he’s awkwardly moving his hands around like he’s not sure what to do with them. ]
There was a lot of reasons. I’m sure just as many of them as excuses as much as they are actual logic, but I think it’s only fair to say why. We … have to get back. Alive. It is not a question of maybe. If we don’t, then our world and probably every other world is going to be destroyed. Maybe even yours too. So we … always had to act. Hoping it would work— No one is coming to save us. I don’t know if there’s another way. Everything I’ve asked, everything you’ve asked, they know isn’t possible.
That said, I … knew Ylfa had the idea she had to do this. And I think I was afraid of making the decision for myself, but I couldn’t sit by and let her - make her do that for us. [ HE DOES CLOSE BOTH EYES FOR A SECOND. ] I really did think I’d beaten her to the punch, neither of us knew the other’s plans. But it made sense. If we had to win, get enough points, then I could be the one to do that. Because you, um, get more points. If you don’t wait for the text message to tell you to do it. If I was caught, I don’t think people would hurt Haru and Ylfa. I’m … expendable. So it made sense.
Shenhe and I. We spoke, before I did anything. I didn’t— She was my friend. I didn’t want to stab her in the back, and I wanted it to be as fair a fight as we could manage. So I didn’t know if I would be coming back. So I think she understood. I hope she did. She wanted the same things, and she was planning to kill for her team as well. She was from the same world as multiple people, so I wouldn’t be destroying her - well, your - world. That’s the last thing I want. So it felt … I don’t know. Even. She was playing the same game as us, understood the stakes.
We want to win, and we want to bring back as many as we can. I don’t know that everyone will be possible. I’ve been asking questions, trying to come up with solutions, and maybe there are some, but I think we’re just. Too late to bring everyone back to life. I promise we are going to bring back anyone who we’ve hurt.
[ for the most part, he listens to his team explain while trying to maintain a poker face, but by the time gerard says that's he expendable(!!), his expression cracks a little and he's feeling Some Kinda Way (the way is Insanely Bad). he just opens and closes his hands from slack to a tight fist here and again, not sure what to do with them otherwise. ]
...We panicked. None of us realized how badly it would go with Simon. We should've known that it would. We didn't really think it through. And then Hot Mess had four people, so we—that wasn't planned. We just panicked.
I know it doesn't make it better. It's not an excuse. But you should know everything that happened. Sorry.
Anyway--if Nahida reached for his hand, Kaveh would've allowed her to have it; but now he pulls it away to cross his arms tightly and turn away, moving away to pace back and forth as he gets his thoughts and emotions together. This is my way of saying I'm not out of bed yet so just give him a minute]
[it's not emotionshare week, but the hurt on nahida's face is obvious when kaveh pulls his hand away. she tries to school her expression, though, and her grip on shu's hand will tighten, unless he also pulls it away. wow. what a confession.
it makes sense.
it makes plenty of logical sense, and she knows that.
ylfa, gerard, and haru are not cruel people. she knows that, too.
[listen we didn't coordinate we didn't coordinate. she watches them react, but she can tell it's shenhe especially that's devastating them, so in a small voice she'll say - ]
I loved Shenhe, too. She was always so kind to me. She was the only person here who really understood me sometimes, I think.
[she swallows hard.]
But it's like I told you, Nahida. Gerard made a decision. Sometimes the only choices you have are to do something ugly or die. And I think, in that situation, Gerard did the least ugly thing he could have. Both of us only wanted to target people who also believed that surviving here would mean playing by ugly rules, we wanted to respect the people who didn't believe in them. And Shenhe...Shenhe and I...we'd already made plans together.
[Okay now that I have coffee--I mean, now that Kaveh has his feelings under control... kind of...
He drags in a shuddering breath and turns back to them.]
The week that Rin was killed, I said things to Buzen that I may not ever get the chance to take back. [He says, finally.] I don't want to make that mistake again. I--[He falters, gripping his arms a little more tightly.]--I understand your logic, and I know you want to get home. And... what happened with Hot Mess wasn't entirely your fault.
[Sometimes your guilt complex is too strong, even in the face of murder confessions.
He's quiet for a long moment, then, trying to think past the weight in his chest. Because there's a but--how could there not be a "but," in a situation like this? If not for what happened with Buzen and his team, there's a high chance Kaveh would be falling apart right now. The only reason he isn't is because he has, through so much of his life, learned to be resilient.
But she was our friend. He knew there would be a point when that would no longer be enough. But how can you believe your world is worth more than anyone else's? But no, that's... too personal, too reflective of his own self-view. But you didn't tell us, and couldn't you trust us enough for that? Are we so unreliable? But isn't it logical, why they didn't? And even if they'd wanted to, Buzen had pointed it out: there's no telling what the consequences could've been.]
...Were you ever going to tell us on your own? [He settles on, finally.]
[she'll let gerard answer most of this but the one thing she'll say is - ]
When we made this alliance, we agreed it wouldn't have to involve covering up murders for each other. I know you thought I was joking, but I wasn't. I already knew I was making a decision Haru and Gerard might hate. I didn't want to force you to deal with the consequences of my decision, too.
No, I... [He pauses, takes a moment, tries to pull his thoughts back together.] I understand why you didn't tell us before you did it. Though I wish you had.
[Kaveh is better at lying than you might expect, given what this game has done to him--but he knows it probably wouldn't extend to something like this. He can already see how it would've gone: he would've tried to talk them out of it, probably, and then failed to keep his composure at a critical moment. Even now, he's not sure how he'll be able to look Vash, Wolfwood, and Nahri in the eyes.]
But I think you should have told us afterward. After the trial. You and Gerard--if this fails, Lambda and Yang Guifei's world is gone. And what if another team does something like you've done, next? What if they choose me and Nahida of their own volition, thinking that as long as one of us is still around, our world will be safe?
[He shakes his head.]
I meant it when I said I didn't want you to be erased. I care about you very much, and if I had to choose any team to entrust with our fates, it would be yours. I--[...] I would have preferred to tell you that myself, rather than having my hand forced.
[Because now it's them or it's nothing. Unless another team throws everything they have into following this same solution, it has to be this team. And Kaveh has had so many choices taken from him over the past few weeks; it grates, having this one taken too.]
I guess I didn't think you would want to be where we are. Having to look Monika and Nahri and Eiden and Simon in the eyes from now on, knowing how much pain we're keeping from them. You're so kind. That's why I liked you from the start, because you wanted to be kind to everybody.
[but she understands what he's saying; it's not a satisfying answer. of course they feel betrayed.]
We didn't plan to be in this situation. We didn't know it was possible at all. We made a decision to live, and honestly, the decision we made, based on the information we had at the time, might have meant that your team would lose.
[which was awful, and part of why she kept insisting the idea that everyone's world might get erased was probably untrue, because she doesn't want to think about having any part in that. but it's not like failing to do anything would have meant no worlds got erased.]
All I can say is...I didn't know how to fight for everyone's world and everyone's team, back then. I only knew how to fight for my own. My home and my friends, for Rin. [it honestly makes her clench her fists a little, sort of desperate] If another team made the decision we did, I wouldn't hate them, either. I'd know they were also fighting for things just as important to them.
[a deep breath.] But it's not that other people weren't fighting. It's just that, it's hard, when you've never had to wake up and realize that there might not be a happy ending and there might not be someone coming to save you, to start thinking that way.
Now I know we might be able to try for our world and everyone else's, I - I'll carry it for everyone if I have to, so they never have to start thinking this way. They can just be mad at us, if they want, but also get the happy ending they deserved. [this is a very dramatique sentiment but she is 12.]
[It's fine, Kaveh is basically a disney princess which is ultimately the same thing is a dramatic storybook 12-year-old.]
I don't hate you.
[First and foremost--because he can't stand the idea of letting them, of letting her, walk away thinking that he does. He won't ever forgive himself for not clearing the air with Buzen properly, and he won't do that again.]
I meant it when I said I understood. And Shenhe... [He closes his eyes for a moment.] I know Shenhe likely would have acted, sooner or later. I'd asked her to tell me, if she felt like she was getting to that point.
[Whether she actually would have or not is a total mystery, of course. He knows she probably thought him too fragile to handle the reality of their situation. He can't speak for Lambda or her team one way or the other, so he leaves that aside.]
I just wish you'd trusted us a little more. Especially afterward. [And before, if he's totally honest--but that's a selfish, personal wound, and he's trying very, very hard to channel logic.]
Even if our worlds weren't at stake, I can't hold a desire to survive against you. [He can't approve of Shenhe's death, can't promise to forgive them or be happy about this, but he's been telling himself this since the beginning anyway. If he doesn't stand by his words now that push has come to shove, what does that make him?] But we have to be able to trust you. And we can't do that if we're questioning whether you're being truthful, or whether you're holding things back from us.
[There's nothing they can do about this now. Kaveh isn't a vengeful person to begin with, but even if he had been, outing them would accomplish nothing. And he does trust that they have good intentions. He has to trust that, or he'll never be able to face Shenhe's team ever again. So he does his best to focus on the now, on the later, rather than what's already come to pass.]
I'm not saying you need to tell us everything you plan on doing. I'm not sure you could anyway--I know Buzen was worried about the consequences. [Whatever the fuck those are.] But we can't just tell you everything we learn and let you do what you will with it, without any input on our end. That can't be how this works.
That's fair. You're right - I think at the end of the day, we're going to have to make some decisions as a team. But that means you shouldn't have to tell us things when you know it might lead to things you won't agree with...
I can't promise we'll tell you everything, and I don't expect you to tell us everything, but we decided to tell you this now. We knew it was dangerous, but we didn't want you to be wondering who was in the lead when we could change that.
[ its really not that he believes his world has more worth. it's that if its erased, every other world is going with it. its the kill switch. the end of all stories, the death of the author. oblivion. ]
When I acted last week, I told no one. Not even Ylfa or Haru. And I think that was a mistake. The only reason-- Well. The only reason we've caught others is they either couldn't or didn't want to trust their own team. Buzen and Matsui couldn't live with it, and Sweet Theory buckled when pressed. So maybe we should have told you, but we didn't want to force you to accept it or to cover for us.
I think we did our best to tell you now. But you're right. I'm sorry for keeping it from you even this long.
[If he's fully honest, Kaveh--well, it's not that he doesn't care about Sweet Theory at all, but. In his mind, they're still responsible for the erasure of BDSM team. He doesn't like thinking about them--his mind skitters around the idea of their team, as though the words themselves have sharp edges.
...]
Do you have numbers?
[How many points they have, how many they'll need.]
No, they couldn't say exactly. But I spoke to Aika about it. I was trying to figure out a way-- She said that we've probably waited too long. That it was expensive already just to bring our team back, and that getting all 40 people home is ... we should prepare ourselves for the possibility.
I spoke to them though, about some other options. There are people - apparently quite a few - who have no desire to go home, or return to life. There might be a way to convince the people in charge that they could be, I don't know. Reapers themselves. It's not ideal. And it might not work. It's normally a choice given to the winners, but-- it's an idea. There might be other ideas.
[He nods slowly, taking that in. It's easier this way, a little--he's always been good with numbers. Focusing on that, on the structure, the framework--it gives him a minute to breathe.]
[He frowns, looking quietly devastated before he pushes it back, trying to focus.]
And we can't do extra tasks on request, can we?
[Because at this point, it really is just--their team or nothing, it seems. And if that's the case, then they need to do whatever they can to get them as many points as possible.]
I don't know, but killing people is a lot more points than any of the tasks. Aika told me that bringing one person back, bringing back Rin, wouldn't be possible without killing at least one person.
We can earn extra points if we go about it right. [ "right." aka not getting caught, etc. ] Hopefully that'll add up. Gerard's idea of some people staying as Reapers is good, too. I wouldn't mind that for myself, as long as we get Rin back.
[ only one of them really has to win to save their world anyway. ]
[ he thinks haru staying and becoming a reaper is something he's not going to let happen because thats ridiculous haru theres no australia here but he won't say that outloud either. ]
We'll still need to see if it's even a real idea. Aika said normally only winners are allowed the choice.
[ though it might require people being willing to fight to save themselves. ]
Do you want to be a Reaper with us, Nahida? I was really worried I was going to be lonely as a Reaper because Ruby probably has other Reaper friends and they might not like me!
No! I kind of decided to be an acolyte of death a while ago anyway.
Besides, if we save the world, there’s probably another version of Little Red Riding Hood who can go back to a home where her grandma is alive. I think this version of me might exist to give her that. But I want to give you and Rin the story you deserve too, so - don’t decide for sure right away.
[ it's hard to see kaveh hurting. it was hard at execution, too. he knows people are suffering and it's their fault. all they can offer right now is the truth. ]
Ylfa and Gerard didn't work together. Or with me. ...You're the only people we've told at all. But you deserve the truth. And we trust you with it.
You don't have to try and make it sound like it's anyone else's fault. [ it's certainly not kaveh's??? ]
[TRULY THE IDEA OF HARU STANDING THERE IN THE WAREHOUSE LIKE (standing_horse_emoji) IS KILLING ME]
You weren't the only ones who voted incorrectly. [Regardless of anything else, Kaveh won't put that on them. He's the one who fucked up, for completely different reasons than any of this.] ...But we need to trust each other more, moving forward. That's the only way this is going to work.
[He doesn't necessarily expect them to come running over with their murder plans all the time--that would be ridiculous. But he's not entirely convinced they would've said anything, had the conversation not veered in this particular way. And that sits too uncomfortably in his chest to leave unaddressed.]
[ this is fine. quietly, trying not to sound too sad about it, ]
Okay.
[ he can see why that's the case. they're an alliance, and they need to give reasons to maintain that trust. ]
We can't say much because of the rules. It's not safe to tell you until after trial. All I can say is we'll probably do it again. Maybe soon, but... I don't know. Either way, we don't expect you to cover for us.
[Well, listen--it's different when it's Haru, who was one of the first people to suffer such a terrible loss. Kaveh is incapable of not putting other people before himself, so he finally uncurls, reaching out to put a hand on Haru's arm.]
Haru--I do understand. I know you all didn't ask to be here any more than the rest of us. You're not doing this out of cruelty.
[He wishes he'd been able to say that to Buzen and the others, too. Even if he manages to speak to them again someday, to apologize, he'll never be able to undo it.
He doesn't say anything about forgiveness, though, because... well. That's not for him to decide anyway, he thinks.]
[ maybe he should be a little more selfish, considering who he's talking to ]
Other people think differently. They think we're selfish and cruel. You saw it. But I'm going to stand by my team, no matter what they think.
[ despite insecurity week, he is firm on that. he's not an innocent bystander. he accepts that people are angry, and they can't ask forgiveness, but they can do whatever they can to help everyone, too. ]
We've asked and looked for other ways. Ruby told me that there's nothing we can do alone. From what she said, I think maybe there's people who can help us. But even then, we can't just hope and wait for them. We have to try to save everyone that we can, in the way that we can. Even if it's hard. Even if everyone here, no matter how we try to avoid it, has someone who loves them. [ like they love shenhe. like everyone loved buzen and matsui, and began to accept rang. like eiden loved yakumo. like he loved rin. it would be worse, he thinks, if he didn't acknowledge that. ]
I'm still sorry. It's okay to be mad. [ even if he promised forever that he wouldn't be ]
[Maybe he'd be more selfish but you ruined his birthday and now he's insecure about having been born :( ]
Of course they're going to be mad, Haru. From the outside, it looks horrifically cruel. [LAMBDA IS IN PIECES. SHENHE WAS CRISPY.] And Nahida's right--it's not for us to accept your apology. That's between Shenhe and Gerard.
...I do think that you should find some way to communicate with Shenhe's team. You don't have to confess to them, but they deserve something. [Even if it's just a vague, anonymous promise that someone, somewhere, will do what they can to bring her back. Lambda's team probably deserves that too, but he doesn't want to seem like he's guilting them into anything.] But that's for you all to decide.
[He does believe, despite how hard he's trying, that they have to shoulder the consequences of the choices they made. Regardless of how sound their logic was, how good their intentions--he won't take that responsibility off their shoulders. People were hurt, and it may have even been for nothing. That's something they will have to live with for the rest of their lives, even if they all make it out of here by some miracle.]
Do you have any idea who Ruby might've been talking about?
he just nods and accepts all that. it does look cruel. even if a tornado of axes is something that could happen to anybody?
but no, even if they didn't mean to be, what they did was still terrible and mean, and he accepts that. the hurt people suffered was real, and he has too much empathy not to believe that. that guilt doesn't like, stop what they have to do—but everyone is free to think of them as they will. they deserve to be upset.
he looks more uncertain about how to approach team A, but... that's something they can talk about later. ]
I don't. She wouldn't elaborate.
[ he sighs. ]
Maybe we'll learn more this Thursday. It's hard when we don't know who we could be looking for.
[And they knew that. Which is part of why this hurts too, honestly. They'd known some of his own team's worries and fears, and gone ahead and acted anyway--and taken someone precious from them in the process.
He'd meant it when he said he understood. But understanding isn't the same thing as being content with it. Logic and emotion are two completely different things, after all. And he would much rather have accepted this than to have it thrust on them in the aftermath, even if it's obvious why they didn't say anything.
It's just... messy. The whole thing is messy. Not for the first time, Kaveh wishes more people here were cruel, ruthless, cunning. Maybe then he could hate them and go on his way. (He couldn't. He's never been that way.)
He sighs, lifting a hand to press the heel of his palm against his forehead.]
I'm going to talk to Aika myself, tomorrow. [Gently, but firmly. It's not that he doubts what they're saying--but he needs them to understand that trust has been damaged, even if he fully intends to stand by his promise not to out them.] If there's anything you think I should ask her, please tell me.
[she's been thinking about this, but she hasn't wanted to say anything.]
If I could tell Lambda's team and Shenhe's team anything that would make them feel better, I would do it, even if it's risky.
But do you really believe it will make them feel better? If Wolfwood and Vash and Nahri get a message from us saying we're the people who hurt you, the people you probably want to kill right now, and we're not telling you who we are, but we're going to save Shenhe, do you think that they're going to believe us and just sit back and trust us? Do you think that's going to comfort them? Or is it just going to make them more angry and more hurt?
If it was me, and the person who killed Rin, it would just make it feel worse.
[He should probably think it through before he answers her, but. He feels frayed and worn right now, so he doesn't.]
It's not that I think you should walk up to them and say it was you. [He loves Team A to pieces, but he isn't stupid. He can't say that they wouldn't take revenge, and that wouldn't get them anywhere.] But they deserve better than the way things ended up.
[They deserve to know that at the very least, someone out there is trying. That they weren't left behind out of senseless desperation, even if, in a way that's kind of what this is. If someone had taken Nahida or Shu from him, he thinks he would want even the phantom of a hand on his shoulder, even the ghost of a voice saying It will be okay. Maybe it would make it worse, because nothing can make it better, really--but Kaveh can only express his opinions as they are.
But these are such personal issues for him, and he knows his views are colored by that bias. And even on a normal week, he wouldn't necessarily want to bring it up. This week, especially, his shoulders rise even to skirt around it, and he looks away, awkward and insecure.]
Um, but I can't speak for Shenhe's team. Or for you all. It's just what I think.
[she would feel kind of bad for being a simon anti except she has found out (or will find out? what is timing with pcs) something else that's going to make her a simon anti again. so.]
...thank you. For telling us. It's hard to hear, but it's... it's better that we did hear it.
...I'm sorry, too. [about shenhe.] I wish there had been a better option.
But I do understand why that choice was made, and... I think she understood, too. It's not my place to accept any apologies on her behalf though...
[she nods at that last bit - answers are important. she wants them badly.
but it's hard to think straight when she's insecure about how productive the questions she would ask would be and also when i'm stuck at work and can't tag quickly enough to ask aaaaaaaaa]
[ it's fine, probably. he doesn't say anything for a moment, before nodding. ]
Teach would tell me you owe it to yourself more than anything not to forget you chose to take a life. Keeps your empathy in tact. It's when you start forgetting that you start changing for the worst.
I don't think you need to worry about that, though.
It wasn't always a decision I meant to make. What happened to me, what I am - it's not something I've always been able to control. When I get too angry, sometimes I do things I regret later.
But I made a decision that - if I have to be a monster, if I have to have done those things, I want it to mean something. I'm strong, and I can stomach things others can't, and that's something that people need sometimes. A Big Bad Wolf isn't a bad friend to have in your corner.
That's why I said I don't think you need to worry.
You've put more thought into that than half the people who pick up a gun and charge dollar signs to make a career out of using it. Teach would probably have liked someone like you, at lot more than most of the people she came across.
I... I know. [sometimes you have no choice but to act, even when what you have to do is not something you want to do. nahida understands that at her core - although, she can't quite pick out why that is.
it feels familiar in a way that makes her heart ache with loss, but putting a name to it is...]
We talked about how we both thought we'd have to do something, but we didn't know if our teams would be okay with it. So we'd agreed to cover for each other if it happened.
and she can respect strategy, even if it makes her heart ache a little to know a fckin twelve year old was put in a position where she felt like she had to do a murder.]
It's not all logic. I wouldn't even say it's right. But I thought it would be more cruel to pretend I didn't know and not tell you than to tell you the truth.
[ and sort of mumbled: `And Veritas is already going to be angry with me, so I couldn't have another verse about lying to friends added to the song that I'm going to be blasted with when this is all over.` ]
It wasn't a weird summoning ritual! I'm also not a serial killer trying to bring her back from the dead! Or. I guess I am trying to bring her back from the dead. But not with the semi-circle! I, um. Was trying to fake psychs that a lot of other teams had. Drift Aura can make a shield of nearby objects ... ?
Logic and right aren't always one and the same. If you kill, you can never forget that you've made the decision to end a life with your own hands. And you carry that with you forever.
[ he does just look at gerard for a moment that. and then-- ]
I have no idea how you'd fake drift aura use, actually. It's teleportation and speed. [ ... ] Which is going to be annoying going forward if someone does use it.
Deciding to do it on your own without a message and getting away with it both are additional points. The more points we have, the more people we can bring back to life.
[ he breathes in deep, and lets it out slowly before nodding. ]
Yeah. I... We have to do what we can.
[ EVEN DURING INSECURITY WEEK ]
Gerard covered some of this. But erasing someone without receiving a message is worth more points. Not getting caught also means you get more points.
Ruby thinks it's possible the messages people get may be a failsafe, too. For weeks when people won't act on their own. So you can't just sit and wait for one. [ if that was even, like, anybody's strategy??? he thinks that's dumb anyway. ]
Otherwise. If two people on the same team both erase people, they're both guilty. But that doesn't mean they'll both die during execution. Just that they'll both be there.
...You can collaborate with people from other teams during Thursday nights. But only the team that actually erases someone gets points. The assisting team isn't guilty at trial, either. But we aren't asking you to do that. Just be aware it's possible. [ for trial purposes ]
In an ideal situation, you'd have someone else to focus your attention on, but-- [ yeah. froggystyle's murderhands came out swinging and hot mess took the punches ]
[she takes a deep breath. she's upset, because of course she is. anyone would be. but she can see that gerard, ylfa, and haru are also upset.]
I can... I can understand your intentions. [trying to emulate a psych that lots of people have - it's smart, in that it widens the pool of suspects. strategically, it was a good choice.
and it does help to know gerard talked to shenhe, first.]
I'm glad you told us. Knowing the truth is important to me. I just... [her voice trails off.] ...I'm trying. I promise I am, Gerard.
It's really alright, Nahida. You can be angry with me. You don't have to forgive it either. It was my decision alone to choose Shenhe, not Ylfa or Haru's and you don't have to treat us all the same.
I'd rather you all be alive and angry with me than erased permanently.
...it's not mine to forgive. The only one who can forgive you is Shenhe.
[likewise - if shenhe had ended up killing gerard last night... it's not like anyone else could have forgiven her on his behalf.]
I'm sad, and... angry, yes. But I know that isn't going to help us right now. And I don't want how I feel to get in the way of understanding why you did what you did. It's not like you did it to hurt anyone - the opposite, right...?
There's a few things as well -- we could assign one team to win, and let them collect the majority of the points.
But that's asking a lot of people: to put their trust in people they may not know well; trusting the team to go through with the revival process, and trusting others not to kill the "winning" team before their time.
The higher ups can think a lot of things, but unless they plan on stickig their oar in more than they have already, I don't really care what they have to say.
I asked about... the possibility of moving someone from one team to another that week. They made it sound like it wasn't possible, but even if it was, doing so would make it so they lost their chance to save their former teammates.
Transferring points is another idea, though. We can transfer money... but, we can also see how much money we have. We haven't been able to see our points.
But that might be a way... pooling all the points we've earned through the less violent methods.
My fear is that this is intended to push us toward violence purely so the "game" can proceed as intended Kiichi essentially told me that that's what the calls are for
[So how can they take that risk? But Nahida pointed out waiting too long, too... ugh.]
It's possible that the "game" has to function as intended for the things we want to happen to be able to happen. If it's all interconnected... but it's such a big risk to gamble on with other people's lives.
Hopefully Netzach, Shen and Livio’s teams come to the same conclusion. But given what’s happened, I don’t know if at least two of them might not seize on the idea of bringing back what they lost.
I think it's more a matter of everyone would have to mutually agree to sacrifice themselves for the winning team if it turns out this is all fake, or if we didn't gather enough points in the end
But I think Nahida's right. We don't want to rush into anything, but we're running out of time. We need to confirm the truth of this information to the best of our ability, and we need to see if we can glean any specifics whatsoever about what we're working with. The points we'd need for revival, how much erasures are worth, any possible extra tasks we can do, if it's possible to transfer points--anything we can possibly learn.
After that, it may simply be a leap of trust.
[He really doesn't think they'd get everyone on board with electing a winning team ahead of time, but... he knows that some people, at least, would agree to try, if it meant dying for the hope of a greater good.]
yeah so i guess we should ask the reapers how many points it is but we'll do it we'll get shenhe back and buzen and matsui and rin and rang lee and everybody
and i guess count d he probably has a lot of animals in his pet store that would be erased if he wasnt saved so we'll do it for the animals
yeah ill try to find out guys cheer up we can do it! i guess if its nonviolence that would be so sad and also bad but also this is what weve been waiting for
They told me that anything they had to say would be guesses, since their bosses aren't especially communicative with them. But that they did think that the winner's world should be safe even if someone who lost came from them... unless there were "alternate timelines or other variations".
But I'm going to be checking in with them to follow up later on as well.
My best guess would be if two or more people came from the same world and seemed to be plucked out of different points in time.
As an example... let's say that Kaveh and I didn't have memories that lined up with each other's. Let's say the last thing Kaveh remembered was the Interdarshan Championship, but the last thing I remembered was the Sabzeruz Festival.
Since we would both be here, it would be an undeniable fact that we both died. However, if Kaveh remembered me being alive during the Interdarshan Championship, that would be a contradiction. Our timelines would not be able to coexist, because in order for the me that only remembers up until the Sabzeruz Festival to be here, she would have died before any of that happened. But for Kaveh to remember me being alive and well would mean that our timelines would have separated.
It's only an example, though. I do remember the Interdarshan Championship.
An amount of time that short probably isn't a sign of an alternate timeline.
It would be more like if there were significant events that one person had lived through, and they had memories of the other person being there, but that other person had died before any of it happened.
I'm not sure how likely it is. They were speaking mainly in hypotheticals, but that would be how I would imagine it would work if it was something we were dealing with.
[nu asked me to just write promise not to be mad again and link it to you but unfortunately ylfa would not say that at this point, funny as it would be.]
hey sorry but did you guys get any weird and creepy messages we all got some we'll show you ours if you want to see them
from user love: And we cowlick BellaSwan naughty zzzzzzzzzzzzss\🙅♀️🙅♀️
from user absolution: 🦷
from user SWIMFAST: I SAW YOU WITH HER AGAIN YESTERDAY even though i spent so many hours lotioning my big hands for our date did you think i wouldn't notice? it's not like i don't understand you're wonderful and unmatched in the water people are always drawn to you, and for good reason... I'M SOOOO JEALOUS AND I SOOO DON'T WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY
from user bellaswan: please... take care of yourself above everything else just please
from user omega: In this world, there exists a spirit neither male nor female. This spirit is covered with a dark cloth, with a separate white cloth to cover its head. It is said to carry an enormous brown burlap sack, in which it holds its victims. It is said that the second its name has been called out, either directly or indirectly, the person is collected and becomes the property of the spirit.
Many who have witnessed its appearance have been said to have gone insane and were later found with their eyes gouged out.
This spirit is very, very real, and failure to prevent the mention of its name will cause Candlejack to come and whisk you awa
idk abt the garage next to bedroom but like i heard that's all in the rage right now???? 😭😭 should i add an extra bathroom?? pls give advice thank u im begging u as architect to architect u know? 🤝 builders unite!!
[from user withlove:]
Dear Kaveh,
I am not certain of how to attach images to these, and none of my maids are currently available to do so for me. However, if you have any ideas for what dresses one should wear to a formal ball, then I would be happy to hear your suggestions. I believe my father intends to use this ball to marry me off. In any case, I trust your mind and your judgment, so believe in yourself too. For deciding on dresses, of course.
from user puppy: Bravest❗ girl in the 🌏world🌏, yes you ✨ARE✨. 💖 Dry those tears😭 missy🌹, there’s more work 🏃♀️ to tackle! 💥🏅 Roll up your sleeves💪 and show ‘em how it’s done!😤💘 Nothing’s over⭐ until it’s over⚡️ and 🐸Froggystyle🐸 is gonna be 🎊Number One🎉🏆!
from user CLINGYCUTE: have more strength than you ever could have anticipated. Keep your chin up and never allow the shadow behind you to consume the light before you. Now I must go. My fiancée awaits!
from user biggestbaby: you are always with others lately and it makes me so jealous!! just because you're cute and funny? can we not be together anymore? when will you notice my big hands again? i would give your head such amazing pets!!
from user omega: i don't know who you are. i don't know what you want. if you are looking for ransom i can tell you i don't have money, but what i do have are a very particular set of skills. skills i have acquired over a very long career. skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. if you let my daughter go now that'll be the end of it. i will not look for you, i will not pursue you, but if you don't, i will look for you, i will find you and i will kill you.
from user heartbelowthewatersurface: IT SPUN IN FRONT OF US, IT PROMISED TO SHOW US THINGS, IT WAS A CONTAINER OF MANY SIDES. IT MARKED US. THE BASIN WAS FILLED WITH A SORT OF VISCOUS AND SEMI-LIQUESCENT SUBSTANCE, QUITE OPAQUE AND OF A SOOTY COLOR. THE CENTER SWELLED AS IF WITH THE ACTION OF SOME POWERFUL YEAST AND AN UNCOUTH AMORPHOUS HEAD WITH DULL AND BULGING EYES AROSE GRADUALLY ON AN EVER-LENGTHENING NECK. FREEYOURSELFFROMREASON HE FILLS THE HOLE IN YOU. THE YOU-SHAPED GRAVE MELTING AWAY TO ENTROPY. ARCADIA WILL EXIT THE EAR CANAL ON THE LEFTHAND SIDE. ONCE IT'S GONE, I'LL BE AT YOUR SERVICE, NOT. DON'T CRY. WE'LL EAT YOUR FEET. FEAR NOT FOR HE IS COMING. THE PROPHET SAYS THE SUN CAME UP LAST NIGHT. THE PROPHET SAYS IT SANG TO HIM. YOU SHOULD DO SOMETHING ABOUT THOSE BURROWING EARWORMS BEFORE THEY’RE TOO INGRAINED. AN WEEK OR TWO OF SOLITARY CONFINEMENT SHOULD DO IT.
I am writing this to you from my castle, as the city prepares for my brother's coronation. I have an acquaintance looking for love, so would you happen to know anyone willing? Please stay strong until you are able to find a suitable match for them, since one can brave the worst of obstacles as long as they have companions by their side. Thank you.
😉?
[and from user abs:]
Oh. 👀 My. 🙊 Gosh! 😲 What’s it like always being the smartest one in the room, Nahida? 🤩💗 Every word I’m STUNNED! 😩💕 But I need to know if you’re 💤sleeping💤 well? 🥺 Are you drinking 💧water💦? 🥺 Balanced 🍎diet🍏? 🥺 Tenderly holding the 🤗hands of the people you ❤️️love❤️️ and enjoying their company in this ⏳time🕔 we have? 🥺🥺🥺 Big Sis is rooting for you okay! 🫂💁♀️💖
[she follows these both up with -]
I did attempt to respond to them, but I received a connection error each time I tried to send a message.
from user saintadjutor: tell me where you were last night!! were you with her again!! was she drawn to your buff figure and strong arms!! don't think i haven't noticed your attention wandering!!
from user rageintensifies: "Based"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "Based"? Are you so stupid that the only word you can comprehend is "Based" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "Based" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about five fucking letters? I bet you took the time to type those five letters too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "Based" on your gravestone?
May this message find you well. From my castle window, I can see the knights sparring and I thought of you. I hope that you can also be a valiant protector like them, though not for me as I don't believe the king is interested in enlisting foreigners into the army. 😉
I'm sorry. I can't keep doing this right now.
[ he shrugs ]
who or whatever wrote mine kinda gave up at the end there, and I think I’m starting to see why.
So, they're going to the ball to ... find a husband as per their father's wishes. That's what we've got so far? Maybe they're fond of the knight but there's no way for them to be together. Or maybe they want to be a knight.
maybe both! maybe she wants to be a knight and have a knight boyfriend and protect the kingdom! so she has to disguise herself as a knight and go out and meet him!
but then she goes to the ball and it turns out the knight she liked was a prince all along and hes also into her being a knight!
Aika did mention that there might be some "overlap" between the UG and the RG, though, and that some of the people who live around here might be annoyed with us. Their connection is stronger to us inside of the shops and restaurants...
Oh. I hope they haven't been watching the trials all along while they've just been trying to eat at McDonald's. That would be embarrassing.
Froggystyle can see this I guess even though they're not technically here yet but while they're on their way he will look at them apologetically AND THEN ALSO SHU SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE--]
...Gerard told me when we went to investigate. I mean--now I don't know if he meant about Haru, or if he... [Y'know.] But I knew they were guilty.
You know, we didn't actually fight or anything. Everyone always assumes the worst about these things. He wanted to have a drink and speak, and then figured we might as well, um. Goof off for a bit. He didn't see a need to fight it, really. He got into a crash.
We, ah, missed. With the gun. I finished him with the sword.
She probably heard it from him, then. When I spoke with Nahri yesterday, she was saying she didn't know how we would manage to bring anyone back with Fei Du gone. They... must have gotten pretty close.
[He's not holding back so much as just. Bracing himself because he absolutely hates having to think this way, he hates everything about this place--but.]
Haru... I'm afraid that if people think Gerard took the fall for you, they might not accept it. [He looks miserable as he says it.] But I'm not sure how much it will matter either way, so...
[Literally the only reason he's not volunteering himself is because he's afraid that it would do more harm than good and push people to get revenge on Froggystyle, even if he begged them not to.]
[Though... he doesn't argue with Haru too much about this. It's between him and his team, and... well. They talked, before... Matsui. So Haru already knows his feelings on certain things.]
...I'm just worried.
[If Froggystyle doesn't win, then Shenhe's death was for nothing.]
[ he really thought if he took all the blame today, people would just call it an eye for an eye when he died. but now gerard is trying to cuck him and me of death and that's simply unreasonable ]
...I know. I don't—this can't have been for nothing.
[ killing people is so fucking hard actually!!!! ]
People have been looking at the money that comes in too, and figuring out what you get rewarded for. Some of that might've led to people being suspicious too.
[just starts a new subtl so we can keep it a little more organized ig but let's say this is after gerard and haru either come to a decision or decide to deal with it in private]
...um. I'm sorry to bring this up... I don't like to think about losing any of you. But, one of the theories that's been going around is that some of the odd messages we've gotten during the week have been from the erased.
Should... we try to come up with some kind of a code, to confirm it...?
Something so we'll know it's from you. I've gotten a connection error every time I've tried to write back, so it would have to be something we would recognize just by seeing it.
What about something that makes sense if we all compare it together? Like... a capital "F" at random in a message to one of us, a capital "R" where it shouldn't be in another, an "O," and a "G"... that way it won't look weird to anyone else looking in.
[ these are written down on a sheet of paper, not on their phones. ]
Gerard decoded them. They were all scrambled when we got it originally.
Ylfa's: normally when players are erased they are for all intents and purposes gone kept around on some frequency maybe but less tangible or aware than even folktale ghosts which of course means that having them conscious elsewhere is very much not normal game protocol not exactly against the rules but those running the game wouldn t be pleased to find out so it s important to hide this from them and to err on the side of caution when discussing anything that seems out of place
Haru's: after all playing by their rules is unavoidable and the only thing preventing any retaliation on their part is whether or not they feel it s worth the effort by that point nothing is gained by blatantly defying them even if it might be tempting to with all the anomalies in this iteration of the reaper s game
...And I got more messages. They're different from before.
[ so they'll also get to see these, though they're on his phone: ]
...It's something I've been thinking about. If there's even a chance that the dead are trying to communicate with us like this—we shouldn't be putting it out in public.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
w3 ; tues
h
meeting by our warehouse?
[ he'll be there. there may be snacks from the mime cafe, but he's only brought water otherwise. ]
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On my way!
[she will head over to the froggystyle warehouse!]
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[ there's cookies but they'll always be oatmeal raisin at this point. he glances between ylfa and gerard. ]
...We wanted to cover some stuff. Make sure we're on the same page.
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Nahida and I talked about it a little bit...
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That's good. We can share whatever we've heard.
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So...Buzen told us that Count D got a message on his phone saying he had to kill somebody. Same thing for Libby.
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Libby was surprised I knew about the messages. She didn't confirm she got one, but-- [ well. he didn't expect her to. her reaction was surprise enough to suggest she got one. ]
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I don't know that hers wasn't that, though.
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I heard the same. Kiichi said it was probably the higher ups sending the messages.
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Either they have a weird sense of what's fun, or there's some other reason behind it...
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If not entertainment... then I really don't like the idea they think this has to happen, somehow.
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[her brows furrow a little]
...the circumstances aren't quite the same, but... I wonder if maybe how things are set up to happen... might generate some sort of "energy"?
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...Could be. I don't know. Maybe there's no reason at all.
[ ... ] If there is one, we should try to figure it out.
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I don't think it would hurt to understand why the people who were giving the instructions for this Game felt that it needed to be done the way it was. If we can understand their mindsets and their motivations, we can better predict what else they might throw at us, and prepare for it.
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I was told it was strange that this one didn't seem to have anything put in place, initially. Supposedly. But since we were so clearly ready to defy the rules, they intervened.
[Or something. Ugh.]
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Mhm. It'll be good for us all to talk as a group, though.
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she nods.]
That sounds like a good idea.
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That's right. I still have it on my phone if you would like to see it. Kaveh should have it as well.
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[ he'll pull out his phone and show her (and the rest of Go to Sleep) the message:
Bring them from different worlds. Erase worlds of those who fail to win. This will be a better system for the future. ]
... For what it's worth, I asked Aika about it. She seems to think it could either be true or false, which I know is all of the options it could be, but the fact they don't know if it's true outright is something, anyway?
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Yeah it - we weren't sure what to do about this. Because if people believe it's true, it'll be bad, but... also, everybody who went with Gerard has this, so most of the teams saw it anyway.
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Thank you for trying, regardless.
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...We told BDSM, too.
It didn't seem fair not to.
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You're right. They deserved to know.
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It didn't help. [ ... ] Sorry. If you all didn't want to know, either.
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We're fine. We should keep trying to figure out these messages as they happen.
[ since, glances at justice!!!, they're not guaranteed to learn unless they're on a cyoa group. ]
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[her voice is gentle.]
...it can't have been an easy thing for you all to bear, all this time.
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[ this news really sucks, yeah, but he knows it's better to have it than not. ]
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Thank you for being our friends, Haru.
[she likes the sound of that better than "alliance"]
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...Whatever. It's nothing.
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[ sips his water, looking a little uncomfortable. ]
Ruby said she'd ask if it applied to our game. She hadn't heard about it until we talked. Bosses aren't very communicative.
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But she also said that - clearly these messages aren't intended for us. There's no sender. So why would we get them at all? It sounds like pretty good motivation to go out and start ... erasing and all, so why wouldn't they tell us at the start if they wanted us to do that.
So they might have given it to us intentionally, for the drama. It doesn't mean that it's real.
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I'm nervous, too. ...hopefully whoever receives it will be willing to share. I did tell the others in your group that I had received something and that they may want to keep an eye out for it, but...
[sweats in in progress threads i don't know if any of them are going to reciprocate with the information once the threads get to that point]
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...I was hoping sharing it with the others would encourage them to share it with me in turn. But... that may not be something that works for everyone here.
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[ WHICH WAS THE FUNNIEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN, FOR THE RECORD. ]
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He's lying.
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I guess it's to be expected.
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If everyone were brave and valiant, there would be no one to protect.
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I understand. I'm sorry you had to endure something like that.
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It's alright, it's alright ...
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[at least tell the lie to someone who wasn't on a cyoa and didn't know that every member of a cyoa group got a message, damn. nahida looks like she's judging simon a little.]
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... Not that I'm doing that! Not that you would think I was. It's on my phone.
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[she is just not very impressed with simon at the moment]
But it doesn't sound like he thought that far ahead.
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Maybe he didn't think we'd talk to anybody...
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...I wonder if he'll lie to me, too, if I ask him about it now that the dust has settled a little. Or if he'll tell me something different.
[...maybe she'll try.]
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I don't know that anyone else is sharing. I thought someone might tell you all before we did.
Simon was probably relying on us not communicating. Because he's not the type to do it, himself. [ or, perhaps, more graciously: ] Could be that he's afraid of people acting on this information, too.
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A lie would be a little too easily disproven, especially if it was told to someone else who was in the same situation as him the week before. "I don't want to say" is at least more understandable, if a little frustrating.
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[ but he's always blunt. ]
Livio knows people from another team, doesn't he? Peace Sign? I'd expect they'd be in touch, at least.
[ things will be a little confusing if shenhe doesn't already know this info, honestly. ]
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[if simon is potentially lying to his teammates...
she frowns a little.]
And just from how Amelia's behaved so far... I'll be honest, it doesn't seem like something she would have an easy time keeping from the group of large.
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But if you could tell us if Shenhe heard this from Livio already—...I want to know who to trust. [ because maybe this is all a misunderstanding, but he'd also just assumed simon was an okay guy, and would generally prefer to keep thinking that. ]
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We'll let you know if she mentions having heard it.
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Just because someone seems nice and has a cute monkey doesn't mean they're going to be honest with you. I wonder if the other members of Justice know, too?
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[she smiles]
I talk to Amelia, Fukuzawa, and Livio fairly regularly. If you'd like, I can try to see if they'll tell me what they know, if anything.
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If his team made a strategic decision or something, I don't want to manipulate his feelings. Maybe it's okay if we don't trust each others' teams.
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...I suppose I'm a little worried. About whether or not he even has shared that information with them. If he hasn't...
[what else would he not be sharing with his team...? would it come back to bite them later?]
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[because uhhh if simon is just lying and not sharing info with his own teammates what other kinds of things will he do without telling them? wildcards do make things more interesting, but the situation they're all in is precarious enough without them.]
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Um. He doesn't know.
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[she frowns]
I see. Thank you for asking.
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[the subject of that message... seems like it would be really hard to forget.........]
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Nahida, it might sound mean, but... in the future, if they want to see our information they have to give us theirs.
This isn't a place where being kind just for the sake of it will get us anywhere. Not with everyone, at least.
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[she nods slowly]
Yes, I can see that.
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And even if it's not real, the risk is.
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Monika wasn't sure how much to spread it, either. Because of how people might start acting. But that's at least six teams that know.
[ BDSM (RIP), froggystyle, mmm, sweet theory, justice, and now go to sleep ]
It's only TBD, A Peace Sign, Yuneyuze, and Hot Mess that might not. ...Should we tell them, too?
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[so that's her vote.]
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Did you change your mind?
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It didn't help them to know.
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[ that's fine. in his mind, she's not wrong. ]
Then we won't say anything unless other people talk to us first. What about you guys?
[ looking over at go to sleep ]
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[ this is an unsure vote ]
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...Maybe it's better not to say anything.
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I understand your logic. [Because he does. He's not naive.] But...
[It just feels... a little bit like betrayal, to keep it from certain people. He looks at Nahida, beseeching.]
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...It's okay, Kaveh. You guys get a say, too.
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I do mean it when I say I understand. This is dangerous information when we can't guarantee that it's false. But like Nahida said--Shenhe is from Teyvat, and... [Well. He's just really attached to Wolfwood and Vash so there's bias there. But also--] ...it seems like wherever we went on our "special mission" borrowed from her memories. I think she has a right to know.
But I do want to make sure it doesn't push her to do anything reckless. So we'll have to be careful about it.
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Who do you want to tell?
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...I wouldn't feel comfortable keeping it from Shenhe. [And honestly the rest of Shenhe's team too but this is a more rational answer.] There are others I'd like to tell, but... I don't want to push anyone into frightened violence. If they're upset with us for keeping quiet, I'll take responsibility.
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I know.
[Whether that will change his behavior if this blows up, ehhhh... but he doesn't seem to be faking it, at least.]
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We can evaluate our plans as a group as we learn more.
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It's not just your decision. But I'm okay with telling Shenhe.
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[...]
A while ago, Shenhe seemed a little worried that she... [Hm. How to say it.] ...might act against the wishes of her team. I asked Shenhe to tell me, if she felt as though things were getting out of her control. [If she was beginning to feel desperate enough to do a harm, basically.] So... it might be best if Nahida and I are the ones to tell her.
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[That sort of thing.]
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[ but he shrugs. ]
I don't have a problem with telling her.
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[Kaveh is a great big baby who sucks at keeping secrets but he is also not an idiot, so. He'll settle for this.]
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[ it feels wrong to just keep things to people they like, because if that were the metric, he's pretty sure they'd just tell everybody. but after this weekend, it's easier to draw some lines.
also this is very sweet, but he shakes his head. ]
We're doing this together. Don't take responsibility for everyone.
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[but she looks conflicted.]
...but, I do want to at least tell A Peace Sign. Shenhe... she's from Teyvat, just like Kaveh and me.
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[she hunches a little.]
When I talked to Matsui on Saturday, he was - thinking this was true hurt him so, so much. It didn't make him decide to fight, it made him think he had to, and those are two different things.
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...Alex told me that those who are Erased--at least for now, they're still around in some capacity. Just on a different "frequency" from the rest of us. [...] I'd like to think that he and Buzen found each other again there. I promised him that I would keep looking for a better way, like Buzen wanted to. That's the best thing we can do for them now.
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I guess that makes sense.
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[Or multiple someones?? He doesn't know if it's one member or multiple]
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That's what I was thinking about, too.
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[but if the worlds of those who fail to win are erased...
nahida looks thoughtful when she hears that.]
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[Could it be... the mod teams]
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[she's frowning a lot, hunching a bit.]
It might not be real, okay? It might just be a trick to try to get us to kill each other more, like you were saying. I really...don't want anyone else to get hurt by this.
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...Ruby said that if it applies to our game, there's nothing we can do about it alone. They won't change their minds.
But I think she was holding something back. That maybe... there's still someone, or somebodies, that can help us.
[ so it's not entirely hopeless, sort of. ]
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[and not every castmate is on the same team...]
But it is telling that they don't know if this is applicable to the Game we're playing now. The problem is going to be if this convinces people to choose erasure in an attempt to win the game.
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[it could go the other way - even if you, as a winner, are not erased, your world might still be. where would that leave you then?]
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Or maybe whatever message someone gets next will have some clarification. This seems like it's only one part of the instructions, after all.
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[He'll show his message:
ATTN: ████████
Prepping for new Game. You will each need to volunteer one of your best Reapers temporarily for it. Up to you to decide who fits criteria of 'best.' Cannot give much info on setup, but it is based on that one Game from a few years back. You know the one. Comply with instructions ASAP.
Signed,
████ ██████]
I asked Kiichi about it, but he didn't seem to think it was anything significant. Ruby mentioned that the previous Game they're talking about was the first one that brought people from other worlds together.
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I wonder if we can learn more about it.
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Well, taking inspiration from something doesn't necessarily mean every aspect of it will be identical. But if we can find things that worked well for the players of that game, and if we can learn about how it ended... we can try the things that worked for them and attempt to avoid the things that didn't.
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...I can't figure out if the reapers really are as uninvolved as they say. They make it sound like they have barely any contact with those in power.
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[There's no option for it, per the mods...]
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[which is. frustrating. but they'll just have to deal with it.]
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[ he be along after nahida has already left. ]
w3 wednesday pre-mini event
That said, I don't think it's spreading very widely at all. Shenhe hadn't heard about any of the messages when Kaveh and I spoke with her...
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[ no they didn't? they told like everyone? ]
most people are keeping info to themselves
id at least tell my team though
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I dunno how much I want to point fingers though.
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he could be trying to avoid panic
or being strategic
neither would be a surprise
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don't assume the worst but also be cautious
might be a good idea. see if he's doing something shady.
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...for transparency's sake, what I told him was that I had warned others in the group that they might be receiving a message but I had gone a while without hearing anything, so I thought I should follow up. It's possible he might have told me because he thought I might ask someone else next.
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[Like, it's not that he doesn't get the logic but Simon really didn't plan this out well...]
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[she's still annoyed on kaveh's behalf tbh]
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He's a very nervous person, and we don't know each other that well. He had no guarantee what I'd do with that information--I don't hold it against him.
I do hope he was working up to telling his team, though.
[He is willing to give Simon the benefit of the doubt but if Livio was wronged it's over for him]
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It's definitely possible he was just being cautious. The way he asked if I'd spoken with anyone else about it first does stand out to me, though.
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i told livio to ask him if hed gotten a text and to not mention i told him to
and he told livio he hadn't
so what the hell
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This does make me feel like he only told me the truth because he realized I would have a way of finding out he was lying.
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This was yesterday, after we talked.
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This happened today?
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anyway i showed it to him.
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[Since they didn't tell Shenhe to keep it a secret from her team, but ultimately it's her decision.]
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so were telling people again?
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livio SHOULD have gotten it from his team
thats different
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but can we tell him anything else if we dont trust simon
[ he likes team justice... this is annoying ]
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[He loves the Triguns but he doesn't like. Know all their business. So for all he knows Vash and Wolfwood might try to protect him... or maybe none of them talk!! Who knows.]
I would like to think that, were we to ask him to keep things to himself and gave him good reason to do so, he would listen. But I acknowledge that I can't speak from an unbiased perspective, here.
[when your heart wants to Trust but you're a scholar and also not an idiot about being in a team game... the struggle is real...]
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[But he also doesn't want to keep Livio in the dark... ugh... SIMON, YOU DID THIS]
W3 - SUNDAY
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i know this has been a really bad day
but there's new stuff from thursday going around
shu probably saw it right?
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Livio, Shen Qingqiu, and Netzach all showed it to me. Separately.
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it looks like they're really going for world erasure. they're really stubborn that way, aren't they? at least the winner can use their points to also bring others back to the realground, but i'm afraid i don't really think they'd be able to save too many unless they really work for it with how much it costs. what a shame, isn't it? i hope this group won't be anti-violence.
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we get enough points to save everyone else too!
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well what do you mean by that nahida?
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It more or less confirms what people have been saying: that the points we earn from our tasks are much less compared to the points earned from erasure. If we're too pacifistic, we may not have the points we need to save anyone.
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thats really bad news nahida
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I do worry that we don't have the full picture yet. We learn a little more from these messages each week, and they seem to be pointing in a certain direction. But what happens if as a group we go past the point of no return, and it turns out it wasn't what we thought?
But on the other hand... what if it is what it sounds like, and by waiting for confirmation, we lose our chance?
I also worry about how... chaotic it might be, if too many people see this message, and decide to take things into their own hands.
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but at least for me
i dont know
is it ok if i tell you a story?
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itd just be more violence
hopefully everyone realizes that
[ he does think this is a dangerous message, because it plays into the good will of players, rather than their darker sides. ]
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But... sometimes, when people are desperate, they don't think things through. And sometimes when they want to help, they get so focused on trying to that they don't consider the big picture.
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should we be trying to help someone into the lead
or wait and hope that theres some other way
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The teams that are likely closest to first place right now... [meaning. the teams of the killers who got caught and wHOEVER KILLED THIS PAST WEEK, which she has suspicions about.] ...do we feel like we could trust them if we helped them into the lead?
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But I still have a lot to learn about humanity. I worry that my impressions could be wrong.
[insecurity week sure is a wild time to be having this converesation.]
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id trust most teams to revive everyone else
everyone ive spoken to is a decent person hoping for the best of a bad game
if that werent true wed all be dead already
but even if were allies you guys have to decide for yourselves
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But if this seems like our most viable option, I would be okay with it, depending on who the leading team is
[He. Does not want Sweet Theory to win but he won't say that]
But I don't know how we can figure out who that is besides guessing
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promise not to be mad, okay?
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Of course, why?
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i think our team is probably the one in the lead right now
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meet us at our warehouse
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But, eventually:]
How can you be sure?
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warehouse
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Alright
Give me an hour to finish what I'm doing
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ok
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SWEET BECKS IS ASLEEP BUT I ASSUME SHU IS HERE AND JUST SILENTLY LISTENING FOR NOW we can retcon Shu's reactions later,,, Nahida is almost certainly here too I'm sure I'm guessing Britt will jump in. Maybe. Or maybe it's just Kaveh getting T-posed at by a frog, a 12-year-old, and a dolphin.
EITHER WAY, Kaveh will indeed show up!! HE IS STILL EXHAUSTED AND HUNGOVER??? WE JUST WATCHED A SNAKE MAN GET VORED LIKE 8 HOURS AGO. WHY IS THIS THE WORST BIRTHDAY TO EVER HAVE
But at least he's not, like, nyooming at them in a rage, so probably he isn't going to. Idk. Healing aura them to death on a Sunday? Who knows. His expression is very tightly controlled, though, and he crosses his arms almost soon as he arrives, curling his fingers into the fabric of his shirt. His gaze flicks to each of them in turn, as if, even now, he's trying not to make them feel pressured.]
Go ahead.
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but she'll speak up when he speaks first.]
Kaveh, um. You don't really have to promise not to be mad. But if we tell you about this, and you tell anyone else, then...we'll probably die.
If you don't think you can be okay with not telling anyone, then we can not tell you, and we can agree to not be an alliance anymore. And you can be mad. Just please don't get us erased, or it will all be for nothing.
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Even if you don’t want to hear about that, I’m more than happy to share what I’ve spoken with the Reapers about. It might help, or it might not.
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But--no, he doesn't look mad. If anything, his expression shifts into something just a little heartbroken at the clear wariness and fear they're showing, even though he does, of course, logically understand where it's coming from.
He has a feeling he already knows how this is going to go, if this is the way they're reacting. Rather--he has since Ylfa's first message. It was too late to walk away the moment the idea entered his head, and he can't leave without confirming one way or the other. No decent scholar walks away just because they don't like what they see.
And besides, his own failures aren't their fault.]
I want to know. All of it. [...] It's up to Nahida and Shu, what they want to do. But I don't want to get you erased.
[But he'll let Nahida and Shu say their pieces, if they have any, because Kaveh knows he's too emotional for things like this. If there are any stipulations here, any conditions to this conversation, he won't be the one to say them.]
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(she didn't want to jump to conclusions. something about this week has left her severely questioning her own judgment, her own logic, and her own reasoning - so she hadn't pressed the matter.)
but now, there's not really anything to question. there are answers, if ylfa, gerard, and haru will give them - and in her heart, she does believe that they will.
...she's holding onto kaveh's and shu's hands, though, if they'll let her.]
I want to know, too. Just having heard what I have already... so many questions are buzzing in my mind. It's like a noise that I can't block out. [...] I can't promise about how I'll react. But I can promise that I don't want to see you erased. You're... you're my friends.
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anyway.
shu initially follows up behind the two of them — walking at a more sedate pace. he doesn’t looked stressed, or nervous, anything like that. he just looks calm. it’s not emotions week after all, so who knows how he’s feeling inside.
he’ll let nahida grip his hand, once he catches up with the others. but he does glance to one side at kaveh and nahida before he looks back at ylfa, gerard and haru. ]
Better to just get it out there.
1/3
I didn't cut her head off to be a freak! My ax slipped out of my hands and went into a tornado! [a situation that could happen to anybody.] And I only put her in Selfie World because I thought she'd want to be remembered looking beautiful, but I couldn't get her head back on so it came across differently than I intended.
I'm sorry for doing something so horrible like a serial killer would. I promise I didn't take a photo with her dead body to keep as a trophy or anything, I promise! I picked her because she told me every week that the longer I waited, the harder it might be to catch up, and she was the only one smart enough to realize that. But I never wanted to make fun of her or desecrate her. I'm really, really sorry for being so gross!
2/3
I killed Shenhe.
[ he at least speaks steadily enough, even if he’s awkwardly moving his hands around like he’s not sure what to do with them. ]
There was a lot of reasons. I’m sure just as many of them as excuses as much as they are actual logic, but I think it’s only fair to say why. We … have to get back. Alive. It is not a question of maybe. If we don’t, then our world and probably every other world is going to be destroyed. Maybe even yours too. So we … always had to act. Hoping it would work— No one is coming to save us. I don’t know if there’s another way. Everything I’ve asked, everything you’ve asked, they know isn’t possible.
That said, I … knew Ylfa had the idea she had to do this. And I think I was afraid of making the decision for myself, but I couldn’t sit by and let her - make her do that for us. [ HE DOES CLOSE BOTH EYES FOR A SECOND. ] I really did think I’d beaten her to the punch, neither of us knew the other’s plans. But it made sense. If we had to win, get enough points, then I could be the one to do that. Because you, um, get more points. If you don’t wait for the text message to tell you to do it. If I was caught, I don’t think people would hurt Haru and Ylfa. I’m … expendable. So it made sense.
Shenhe and I. We spoke, before I did anything. I didn’t— She was my friend. I didn’t want to stab her in the back, and I wanted it to be as fair a fight as we could manage. So I didn’t know if I would be coming back. So I think she understood. I hope she did. She wanted the same things, and she was planning to kill for her team as well. She was from the same world as multiple people, so I wouldn’t be destroying her - well, your - world. That’s the last thing I want. So it felt … I don’t know. Even. She was playing the same game as us, understood the stakes.
We want to win, and we want to bring back as many as we can. I don’t know that everyone will be possible. I’ve been asking questions, trying to come up with solutions, and maybe there are some, but I think we’re just. Too late to bring everyone back to life. I promise we are going to bring back anyone who we’ve hurt.
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...We panicked. None of us realized how badly it would go with Simon. We should've known that it would. We didn't really think it through. And then Hot Mess had four people, so we—that wasn't planned. We just panicked.
I know it doesn't make it better. It's not an excuse. But you should know everything that happened. Sorry.
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Anyway--if Nahida reached for his hand, Kaveh would've allowed her to have it; but now he pulls it away to cross his arms tightly and turn away, moving away to pace back and forth as he gets his thoughts and emotions together. This is my way of saying I'm not out of bed yet so just give him a minute]
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it makes sense.
it makes plenty of logical sense, and she knows that.
ylfa, gerard, and haru are not cruel people. she knows that, too.
but it feels like her heart is being crushed.]
I... I can appreciate that you told us.
[she also needs a minute, though.]
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shu stays where he is, holding nahida's hand if she's still clinging to him. he just glances around at the other team as a whole before nodding. ]
Logic's never exactly kind, but you're not wrong. We all want to win.
[ ... ]
What was with the semi-circle though?
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I loved Shenhe, too. She was always so kind to me. She was the only person here who really understood me sometimes, I think.
[she swallows hard.]
But it's like I told you, Nahida. Gerard made a decision. Sometimes the only choices you have are to do something ugly or die. And I think, in that situation, Gerard did the least ugly thing he could have. Both of us only wanted to target people who also believed that surviving here would mean playing by ugly rules, we wanted to respect the people who didn't believe in them. And Shenhe...Shenhe and I...we'd already made plans together.
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It's alright, Ylfa.
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He drags in a shuddering breath and turns back to them.]
The week that Rin was killed, I said things to Buzen that I may not ever get the chance to take back. [He says, finally.] I don't want to make that mistake again. I--[He falters, gripping his arms a little more tightly.]--I understand your logic, and I know you want to get home. And... what happened with Hot Mess wasn't entirely your fault.
[Sometimes your guilt complex is too strong, even in the face of murder confessions.
He's quiet for a long moment, then, trying to think past the weight in his chest. Because there's a but--how could there not be a "but," in a situation like this? If not for what happened with Buzen and his team, there's a high chance Kaveh would be falling apart right now. The only reason he isn't is because he has, through so much of his life, learned to be resilient.
But she was our friend. He knew there would be a point when that would no longer be enough. But how can you believe your world is worth more than anyone else's? But no, that's... too personal, too reflective of his own self-view. But you didn't tell us, and couldn't you trust us enough for that? Are we so unreliable? But isn't it logical, why they didn't? And even if they'd wanted to, Buzen had pointed it out: there's no telling what the consequences could've been.]
...Were you ever going to tell us on your own? [He settles on, finally.]
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When we made this alliance, we agreed it wouldn't have to involve covering up murders for each other. I know you thought I was joking, but I wasn't. I already knew I was making a decision Haru and Gerard might hate. I didn't want to force you to deal with the consequences of my decision, too.
But here we are...
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[Kaveh is better at lying than you might expect, given what this game has done to him--but he knows it probably wouldn't extend to something like this. He can already see how it would've gone: he would've tried to talk them out of it, probably, and then failed to keep his composure at a critical moment. Even now, he's not sure how he'll be able to look Vash, Wolfwood, and Nahri in the eyes.]
But I think you should have told us afterward. After the trial. You and Gerard--if this fails, Lambda and Yang Guifei's world is gone. And what if another team does something like you've done, next? What if they choose me and Nahida of their own volition, thinking that as long as one of us is still around, our world will be safe?
[He shakes his head.]
I meant it when I said I didn't want you to be erased. I care about you very much, and if I had to choose any team to entrust with our fates, it would be yours. I--[...] I would have preferred to tell you that myself, rather than having my hand forced.
[Because now it's them or it's nothing. Unless another team throws everything they have into following this same solution, it has to be this team. And Kaveh has had so many choices taken from him over the past few weeks; it grates, having this one taken too.]
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[but she understands what he's saying; it's not a satisfying answer. of course they feel betrayed.]
We didn't plan to be in this situation. We didn't know it was possible at all. We made a decision to live, and honestly, the decision we made, based on the information we had at the time, might have meant that your team would lose.
[which was awful, and part of why she kept insisting the idea that everyone's world might get erased was probably untrue, because she doesn't want to think about having any part in that. but it's not like failing to do anything would have meant no worlds got erased.]
All I can say is...I didn't know how to fight for everyone's world and everyone's team, back then. I only knew how to fight for my own. My home and my friends, for Rin. [it honestly makes her clench her fists a little, sort of desperate] If another team made the decision we did, I wouldn't hate them, either. I'd know they were also fighting for things just as important to them.
[a deep breath.] But it's not that other people weren't fighting. It's just that, it's hard, when you've never had to wake up and realize that there might not be a happy ending and there might not be someone coming to save you, to start thinking that way.
Now I know we might be able to try for our world and everyone else's, I - I'll carry it for everyone if I have to, so they never have to start thinking this way. They can just be mad at us, if they want, but also get the happy ending they deserved. [this is a very dramatique sentiment but she is 12.]
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I don't hate you.
[First and foremost--because he can't stand the idea of letting them, of letting her, walk away thinking that he does. He won't ever forgive himself for not clearing the air with Buzen properly, and he won't do that again.]
I meant it when I said I understood. And Shenhe... [He closes his eyes for a moment.] I know Shenhe likely would have acted, sooner or later. I'd asked her to tell me, if she felt like she was getting to that point.
[Whether she actually would have or not is a total mystery, of course. He knows she probably thought him too fragile to handle the reality of their situation. He can't speak for Lambda or her team one way or the other, so he leaves that aside.]
I just wish you'd trusted us a little more. Especially afterward. [And before, if he's totally honest--but that's a selfish, personal wound, and he's trying very, very hard to channel logic.]
Even if our worlds weren't at stake, I can't hold a desire to survive against you. [He can't approve of Shenhe's death, can't promise to forgive them or be happy about this, but he's been telling himself this since the beginning anyway. If he doesn't stand by his words now that push has come to shove, what does that make him?] But we have to be able to trust you. And we can't do that if we're questioning whether you're being truthful, or whether you're holding things back from us.
[There's nothing they can do about this now. Kaveh isn't a vengeful person to begin with, but even if he had been, outing them would accomplish nothing. And he does trust that they have good intentions. He has to trust that, or he'll never be able to face Shenhe's team ever again. So he does his best to focus on the now, on the later, rather than what's already come to pass.]
I'm not saying you need to tell us everything you plan on doing. I'm not sure you could anyway--I know Buzen was worried about the consequences. [Whatever the fuck those are.] But we can't just tell you everything we learn and let you do what you will with it, without any input on our end. That can't be how this works.
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That's fair. You're right - I think at the end of the day, we're going to have to make some decisions as a team. But that means you shouldn't have to tell us things when you know it might lead to things you won't agree with...
I can't promise we'll tell you everything, and I don't expect you to tell us everything, but we decided to tell you this now. We knew it was dangerous, but we didn't want you to be wondering who was in the lead when we could change that.
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When I acted last week, I told no one. Not even Ylfa or Haru. And I think that was a mistake. The only reason-- Well. The only reason we've caught others is they either couldn't or didn't want to trust their own team. Buzen and Matsui couldn't live with it, and Sweet Theory buckled when pressed. So maybe we should have told you, but we didn't want to force you to accept it or to cover for us.
I think we did our best to tell you now. But you're right. I'm sorry for keeping it from you even this long.
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...]
Do you have numbers?
[How many points they have, how many they'll need.]
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I spoke to them though, about some other options. There are people - apparently quite a few - who have no desire to go home, or return to life. There might be a way to convince the people in charge that they could be, I don't know. Reapers themselves. It's not ideal. And it might not work. It's normally a choice given to the winners, but-- it's an idea. There might be other ideas.
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What about transferring points?
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And we can't do extra tasks on request, can we?
[Because at this point, it really is just--their team or nothing, it seems. And if that's the case, then they need to do whatever they can to get them as many points as possible.]
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...So it's possible that for every person you want to bring back, you'll have to kill someone else.
[And maybe, as the winning team, they'd be able to grab one more on top of that. More if they're lucky, but he doesn't want to put his faith in luck.]
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[ only one of them really has to win to save their world anyway. ]
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We'll still need to see if it's even a real idea. Aika said normally only winners are allowed the choice.
[ though it might require people being willing to fight to save themselves. ]
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But if we win, then that's a choice we could have. You and Ylfa have to go home to save the world. Rin too. I don't.
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[ as long as the reapers get a pool? ]
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So I’ll go back and save the world and then I’ll come be a Reaper with you.
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[oh... that opens up some possibilities, now that she's thinking about it.
hmm.]
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[HE WILL SAY IT BECAUSE HE KNOWS SHE WON'T]
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[
she looks a little sulky because she can't really argue with that. yet. but she'll be able to once memshares happen tomorrow icly.]
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...Are you sure you wouldn't just stay home?
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Besides, if we save the world, there’s probably another version of Little Red Riding Hood who can go back to a home where her grandma is alive. I think this version of me might exist to give her that. But I want to give you and Rin the story you deserve too, so - don’t decide for sure right away.
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[ he doesn't know the other versions of her. this ylfa is his friend and deserves to live her own story. ]
...We can talk with Rin. Together. [ he will ignore rin and do whatever he wants ]
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[she, too, will ignore rin and do whatever she wants.]
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Ylfa and Gerard didn't work together. Or with me. ...You're the only people we've told at all. But you deserve the truth. And we trust you with it.
You don't have to try and make it sound like it's anyone else's fault. [ it's certainly not kaveh's??? ]
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You weren't the only ones who voted incorrectly. [Regardless of anything else, Kaveh won't put that on them. He's the one who fucked up, for completely different reasons than any of this.] ...But we need to trust each other more, moving forward. That's the only way this is going to work.
[He doesn't necessarily expect them to come running over with their murder plans all the time--that would be ridiculous. But he's not entirely convinced they would've said anything, had the conversation not veered in this particular way. And that sits too uncomfortably in his chest to leave unaddressed.]
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Okay.
[ he can see why that's the case. they're an alliance, and they need to give reasons to maintain that trust. ]
We can't say much because of the rules. It's not safe to tell you until after trial. All I can say is we'll probably do it again. Maybe soon, but... I don't know. Either way, we don't expect you to cover for us.
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Haru--I do understand. I know you all didn't ask to be here any more than the rest of us. You're not doing this out of cruelty.
[He wishes he'd been able to say that to Buzen and the others, too. Even if he manages to speak to them again someday, to apologize, he'll never be able to undo it.
He doesn't say anything about forgiveness, though, because... well. That's not for him to decide anyway, he thinks.]
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Other people think differently. They think we're selfish and cruel. You saw it. But I'm going to stand by my team, no matter what they think.
[ despite insecurity week, he is firm on that. he's not an innocent bystander. he accepts that people are angry, and they can't ask forgiveness, but they can do whatever they can to help everyone, too. ]
We've asked and looked for other ways. Ruby told me that there's nothing we can do alone. From what she said, I think maybe there's people who can help us. But even then, we can't just hope and wait for them. We have to try to save everyone that we can, in the way that we can. Even if it's hard. Even if everyone here, no matter how we try to avoid it, has someone who loves them. [ like they love shenhe. like everyone loved buzen and matsui, and began to accept rang. like eiden loved yakumo. like he loved rin. it would be worse, he thinks, if he didn't acknowledge that. ]
I'm still sorry. It's okay to be mad. [ even if he promised forever that he wouldn't be ]
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Of course they're going to be mad, Haru. From the outside, it looks horrifically cruel. [LAMBDA IS IN PIECES. SHENHE WAS CRISPY.] And Nahida's right--it's not for us to accept your apology. That's between Shenhe and Gerard.
...I do think that you should find some way to communicate with Shenhe's team. You don't have to confess to them, but they deserve something. [Even if it's just a vague, anonymous promise that someone, somewhere, will do what they can to bring her back. Lambda's team probably deserves that too, but he doesn't want to seem like he's guilting them into anything.] But that's for you all to decide.
[He does believe, despite how hard he's trying, that they have to shoulder the consequences of the choices they made. Regardless of how sound their logic was, how good their intentions--he won't take that responsibility off their shoulders. People were hurt, and it may have even been for nothing. That's something they will have to live with for the rest of their lives, even if they all make it out of here by some miracle.]
Do you have any idea who Ruby might've been talking about?
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he just nods and accepts all that. it does look cruel. even if a tornado of axes is something that could happen to anybody?
but no, even if they didn't mean to be, what they did was still terrible and mean, and he accepts that. the hurt people suffered was real, and he has too much empathy not to believe that. that guilt doesn't like, stop what they have to do—but everyone is free to think of them as they will. they deserve to be upset.
he looks more uncertain about how to approach team A, but... that's something they can talk about later. ]
I don't. She wouldn't elaborate.
[ he sighs. ]
Maybe we'll learn more this Thursday. It's hard when we don't know who we could be looking for.
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[And they knew that. Which is part of why this hurts too, honestly. They'd known some of his own team's worries and fears, and gone ahead and acted anyway--and taken someone precious from them in the process.
He'd meant it when he said he understood. But understanding isn't the same thing as being content with it. Logic and emotion are two completely different things, after all. And he would much rather have accepted this than to have it thrust on them in the aftermath, even if it's obvious why they didn't say anything.
It's just... messy. The whole thing is messy. Not for the first time, Kaveh wishes more people here were cruel, ruthless, cunning. Maybe then he could hate them and go on his way. (He couldn't. He's never been that way.)
He sighs, lifting a hand to press the heel of his palm against his forehead.]
I'm going to talk to Aika myself, tomorrow. [Gently, but firmly. It's not that he doubts what they're saying--but he needs them to understand that trust has been damaged, even if he fully intends to stand by his promise not to out them.] If there's anything you think I should ask her, please tell me.
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[she's been thinking about this, but she hasn't wanted to say anything.]
If I could tell Lambda's team and Shenhe's team anything that would make them feel better, I would do it, even if it's risky.
But do you really believe it will make them feel better? If Wolfwood and Vash and Nahri get a message from us saying we're the people who hurt you, the people you probably want to kill right now, and we're not telling you who we are, but we're going to save Shenhe, do you think that they're going to believe us and just sit back and trust us? Do you think that's going to comfort them? Or is it just going to make them more angry and more hurt?
If it was me, and the person who killed Rin, it would just make it feel worse.
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[He should probably think it through before he answers her, but. He feels frayed and worn right now, so he doesn't.]
It's not that I think you should walk up to them and say it was you. [He loves Team A to pieces, but he isn't stupid. He can't say that they wouldn't take revenge, and that wouldn't get them anywhere.] But they deserve better than the way things ended up.
[They deserve to know that at the very least, someone out there is trying. That they weren't left behind out of senseless desperation, even if, in a way that's kind of what this is. If someone had taken Nahida or Shu from him, he thinks he would want even the phantom of a hand on his shoulder, even the ghost of a voice saying It will be okay. Maybe it would make it worse, because nothing can make it better, really--but Kaveh can only express his opinions as they are.
But these are such personal issues for him, and he knows his views are colored by that bias. And even on a normal week, he wouldn't necessarily want to bring it up. This week, especially, his shoulders rise even to skirt around it, and he looks away, awkward and insecure.]
Um, but I can't speak for Shenhe's team. Or for you all. It's just what I think.
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...thank you. For telling us. It's hard to hear, but it's... it's better that we did hear it.
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Don't— [ it is so insanely wrong to hear her thank them for anything. he pauses to let out a breath. ] I'm sorry about Shenhe.
[ she was his friend too, but he knows these are people who undoubtedly loved her. ]
We'll answer whatever we can.
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But I do understand why that choice was made, and... I think she understood, too. It's not my place to accept any apologies on her behalf though...
[she nods at that last bit - answers are important. she wants them badly.
but it's hard to think straight when she's insecure about how productive the questions she would ask would be
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Have you ended a life before?
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...Yeah. That's why I was going to do it. I didn't want Haru or Gerard to have to deal with that.
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Teach would tell me you owe it to yourself more than anything not to forget you chose to take a life. Keeps your empathy in tact. It's when you start forgetting that you start changing for the worst.
I don't think you need to worry about that, though.
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It wasn't always a decision I meant to make. What happened to me, what I am - it's not something I've always been able to control. When I get too angry, sometimes I do things I regret later.
But I made a decision that - if I have to be a monster, if I have to have done those things, I want it to mean something. I'm strong, and I can stomach things others can't, and that's something that people need sometimes. A Big Bad Wolf isn't a bad friend to have in your corner.
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That's why I said I don't think you need to worry.
You've put more thought into that than half the people who pick up a gun and charge dollar signs to make a career out of using it. Teach would probably have liked someone like you, at lot more than most of the people she came across.
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[she appreciates him saying this. it's sort of a relief to hear.]
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I... I know. [sometimes you have no choice but to act, even when what you have to do is not something you want to do. nahida understands that at her core - although, she can't quite pick out why that is.
it feels familiar in a way that makes her heart ache with loss, but putting a name to it is...]
...you'd made... plans together?
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and she can respect strategy, even if it makes her heart ache a little to know a fckin twelve year old was put in a position where she felt like she had to do a murder.]
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[ and sort of mumbled: `And Veritas is already going to be angry with me, so I couldn't have another verse about lying to friends added to the song that I'm going to be blasted with when this is all over.` ]
It wasn't a weird summoning ritual! I'm also not a serial killer trying to bring her back from the dead! Or. I guess I am trying to bring her back from the dead. But not with the semi-circle! I, um. Was trying to fake psychs that a lot of other teams had. Drift Aura can make a shield of nearby objects ... ?
[ this wasn't his best attempt. ]
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[ he does just look at gerard for a moment that. and then-- ]
I have no idea how you'd fake drift aura use, actually. It's teleportation and speed. [ ... ] Which is going to be annoying going forward if someone does use it.
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See what I mean?
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[ ... ]
If there is a next time.
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[ ... ]
Deciding to do it on your own without a message and getting away with it both are additional points. The more points we have, the more people we can bring back to life.
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...We can cover what we've learned about erasing and points. It'd help to understand. [ not just for killing. for understanding the game, and trial. ]
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I'd appreciate that. We need to know as much about how this works as possible if we're going to save anyone.
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Yeah. I... We have to do what we can.
[ EVEN DURING INSECURITY WEEK ]
Gerard covered some of this. But erasing someone without receiving a message is worth more points. Not getting caught also means you get more points.
Ruby thinks it's possible the messages people get may be a failsafe, too. For weeks when people won't act on their own. So you can't just sit and wait for one. [ if that was even, like, anybody's strategy??? he thinks that's dumb anyway. ]
Otherwise. If two people on the same team both erase people, they're both guilty. But that doesn't mean they'll both die during execution. Just that they'll both be there.
...You can collaborate with people from other teams during Thursday nights. But only the team that actually erases someone gets points. The assisting team isn't guilty at trial, either. But we aren't asking you to do that. Just be aware it's possible. [ for trial purposes ]
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that gives her a lot to think about, and she nods, mulling that over.]
...that's good information to know, Haru. It's important that we understand as much about this as we can... it really helps.
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[ RIP TO HOT MESS SORRY ]
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[she takes a deep breath. she's upset, because of course she is. anyone would be. but she can see that gerard, ylfa, and haru are also upset.]
I can... I can understand your intentions. [trying to emulate a psych that lots of people have - it's smart, in that it widens the pool of suspects. strategically, it was a good choice.
and it does help to know gerard talked to shenhe, first.]
I'm glad you told us. Knowing the truth is important to me. I just... [her voice trails off.] ...I'm trying. I promise I am, Gerard.
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I'd rather you all be alive and angry with me than erased permanently.
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[likewise - if shenhe had ended up killing gerard last night... it's not like anyone else could have forgiven her on his behalf.]
I'm sad, and... angry, yes. But I know that isn't going to help us right now. And I don't want how I feel to get in the way of understanding why you did what you did. It's not like you did it to hurt anyone - the opposite, right...?
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I have some reservations about... some of the other teams. But I would like it if they could be trusted.
[she's insecure in her own judgment because it's insecurity week though ayyooooo]
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everyone has been hoping for a solution to save the entire group. if everyone starts killing all at once that doesnt help anybody
its important to be careful with this
even if its better news than weve gotten
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But that's asking a lot of people: to put their trust in people they may not know well; trusting the team to go through with the revival process, and trusting others not to kill the "winning" team before their time.
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I guess my worry about be the "higher-ups" thinking that we're rigging the game. I doubt they'd like that.
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like
maybe theres a way we could combine a team into a superteam or something
i guess if there was a way to figure out who had the most points maybe we could do something. i think id trust at least somebody on all the teams?
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If we could've made a super team, surely we'd have done with with Rang? Or maybe it was too late once that moment came for him.
But... I need to get some things from the Reapers, so I might ask about point transferral.
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Transferring points is another idea, though. We can transfer money... but, we can also see how much money we have. We haven't been able to see our points.
But that might be a way... pooling all the points we've earned through the less violent methods.
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["yeah no I'll totally revive you bro source: dude trust me"]
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[But how?]
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Kiichi essentially told me that that's what the calls are for
[So how can they take that risk? But Nahida pointed out waiting too long, too... ugh.]
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I'm afraid of that as well.
It's possible that the "game" has to function as intended for the things we want to happen to be able to happen. If it's all interconnected... but it's such a big risk to gamble on with other people's lives.
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...for the most part, I trust them. But... I have not been able to shake my doubts about Simon, even though I do believe his team means well.
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?
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I think it's more a matter of
everyone would have to mutually agree to sacrifice themselves for the winning team if it turns out this is all fake, or if we didn't gather enough points in the end
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what is the alternative?
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I don't know.
[A delay.]
But I think Nahida's right. We don't want to rush into anything, but we're running out of time. We need to confirm the truth of this information to the best of our ability, and we need to see if we can glean any specifics whatsoever about what we're working with. The points we'd need for revival, how much erasures are worth, any possible extra tasks we can do, if it's possible to transfer points--anything we can possibly learn.
After that, it may simply be a leap of trust.
[He really doesn't think they'd get everyone on board with electing a winning team ahead of time, but... he knows that some people, at least, would agree to try, if it meant dying for the hope of a greater good.]
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we didnt know we can save other people
but we can!
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but we'll do it
we'll get shenhe back and buzen and matsui and rin and rang lee and everybody
and i guess count d he probably has a lot of animals in his pet store that would be erased if he wasnt saved so we'll do it for the animals
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[ HE IS SO UNSURE ABOUT COUNT D ]
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[okay but pib is also kind of a dick.]
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fucking thank you gerard!
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[ still kind of pissed about this one dude in particular ]
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You might have better luck, though
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guys cheer up we can do it!
i guess if its nonviolence that would be so sad
and also bad
but also this is what weve been waiting for
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reviving one person is a lot of points but reviving everyone must work a little differently
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[or were we all too insecure to ask]
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and not yet
ill try again tomorrow
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[He'll let someone else answer Gerard for now because he doesn't want to think about it]
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But I'm going to be checking in with them to follow up later on as well.
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you mean for cases like shenhe
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As an example... let's say that Kaveh and I didn't have memories that lined up with each other's. Let's say the last thing Kaveh remembered was the Interdarshan Championship, but the last thing I remembered was the Sabzeruz Festival.
Since we would both be here, it would be an undeniable fact that we both died. However, if Kaveh remembered me being alive during the Interdarshan Championship, that would be a contradiction. Our timelines would not be able to coexist, because in order for the me that only remembers up until the Sabzeruz Festival to be here, she would have died before any of that happened. But for Kaveh to remember me being alive and well would mean that our timelines would have separated.
It's only an example, though. I do remember the Interdarshan Championship.
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are we from different timelines? gerard?
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It would be more like if there were significant events that one person had lived through, and they had memories of the other person being there, but that other person had died before any of it happened.
I'm not sure how likely it is. They were speaking mainly in hypotheticals, but that would be how I would imagine it would work if it was something we were dealing with.
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The other, of course, that it's real. So you know! One or the other.
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So we know nothing.
[great cool wow amazing]
week 4; monday
hey sorry but
did you guys get any weird and creepy messages
we all got some we'll show you ours if you want to see them
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They're... pretty strange. But it feels like they're written in some sort of code, so I think it would be beneficial to compare them.
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from user huxian:
img attachment
from user love:
And we cowlick BellaSwan naughty zzzzzzzzzzzzss\🙅♀️🙅♀️
from user absolution:
🦷
from user SWIMFAST:
I SAW YOU WITH HER AGAIN YESTERDAY
even though i spent so many hours lotioning my big hands for our date
did you think i wouldn't notice?
it's not like i don't understand
you're wonderful and unmatched in the water
people are always drawn to you, and for good reason...
I'M SOOOO JEALOUS AND I SOOO DON'T WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY
from user bellaswan:
please... take care of yourself
above everything else
just
please
from user omega:
In this world, there exists a spirit neither male nor female. This spirit is covered with a dark cloth, with a separate white cloth to cover its head. It is said to carry an enormous brown burlap sack, in which it holds its victims. It is said that the second its name has been called out, either directly or indirectly, the person is collected and becomes the property of the spirit.
Many who have witnessed its appearance have been said to have gone insane and were later found with their eyes gouged out.
This spirit is very, very real, and failure to prevent the mention of its name will cause Candlejack to come and whisk you awa
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why am i getting spam
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[He will send pics of his!
from user motherelmo:]
hiiiii mister kaveh 😘😘😘 ur like an architect rite? that means u know houses? what do u think abt this one?
img attachment
idk abt the garage next to bedroom but like i heard that's all in the rage right now???? 😭😭 should i add an extra bathroom?? pls give advice thank u im begging u as architect to architect u know? 🤝 builders unite!!
[from user withlove:]
Dear Kaveh,
I am not certain of how to attach images to these, and none of my maids are currently available to do so for me. However, if you have any ideas for what dresses one should wear to a formal ball, then I would be happy to hear your suggestions. I believe my father intends to use this ball to marry me off. In any case, I trust your mind and your judgment, so believe in yourself too. For deciding on dresses, of course.
😉 I hope this is a correct use of this.
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[she will send pictures of them: ]
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[ why did our 12yo get such creepy ones ]
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just ignore them from now on
[ these messages that are definitely not from the gy ]
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ok but if a stranger texts me links to images its ok to click on them right
in case theyre cute like this one
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but you might catch a cold
[ virus ]
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aika says you can lose all your money if you click bad links
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not again!!
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its only a dollar each
gerard you have money buy your own
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[Not this again]
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its okay
we can use gerards acct
but you should buy some too or swimfast might take all your money
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[from user honey:]
Dear Nahida,
I am writing this to you from my castle, as the city prepares for my brother's coronation. I have an acquaintance looking for love, so would you happen to know anyone willing? Please stay strong until you are able to find a suitable match for them, since one can brave the worst of obstacles as long as they have companions by their side. Thank you.
😉?
[and from user abs:]
Oh. 👀 My. 🙊 Gosh! 😲 What’s it like always being the smartest one in the room, Nahida? 🤩💗 Every word I’m STUNNED! 😩💕 But I need to know if you’re 💤sleeping💤 well? 🥺 Are you drinking 💧water💦? 🥺 Balanced 🍎diet🍏? 🥺 Tenderly holding the 🤗hands of the people you ❤️️love❤️️ and enjoying their company in this ⏳time🕔 we have? 🥺🥺🥺 Big Sis is rooting for you okay! 🫂💁♀️💖
[she follows these both up with -]
I did attempt to respond to them, but I received a connection error each time I tried to send a message.
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Is there some reason why these messages are written this way? Some of them seem to share themes.
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from user saintadjutor:
tell me where you were last night!!
were you with her again!!
was she drawn to your buff figure and strong arms!!
don't think i haven't noticed your attention wandering!!
from user rageintensifies:
"Based"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "Based"? Are you so stupid that the only word you can comprehend is "Based" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "Based" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about five fucking letters? I bet you took the time to type those five letters too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "Based" on your gravestone?
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you should message them back
[ he still doesn't know if gerard is divorced or not actually ]
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I don't want this.
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from user XBLADRX:
Dear Shu,
May this message find you well. From my castle window, I can see the knights sparring and I thought of you. I hope that you can also be a valiant protector like them, though not for me as I don't believe the king is interested in enlisting foreigners into the army. 😉
I'm sorry. I can't keep doing this right now.
[ he shrugs ]
who or whatever wrote mine kinda gave up at the end there, and I think I’m starting to see why.
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the story continues!
do you think this is the same one who was going to the ball?
sounds kinda princess coded if you ask me
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So, they're going to the ball to ... find a husband as per their father's wishes. That's what we've got so far?
Maybe they're fond of the knight but there's no way for them to be together. Or maybe they want to be a knight.
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but then she goes to the ball and it turns out the knight she liked was a prince all along and hes also into her being a knight!
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Well, it is the 21st century. Women can have it all.
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Week 4, Tuesday
Vash got weird messages too
from different people than the rest of us
they were just as strange
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Ask them about the tooth one too [Don't call it the tooth one]
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[ get naked or die :tooth: ]
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[there is a delay before this response comes in because she sets her phone down to pull her sleeves further down her arms.]
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[ i was not around for it oocly so he just missed everyone being victorian ]
but teeth keep happening
maybe its the same sender
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...I wonder if they were trying to urge us to be more thorough about checking people for injuries at the trials.
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dont know who would send that though
the higher ups here wouldnt care if we get away with it
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Aika did mention that there might be some "overlap" between the UG and the RG, though, and that some of the people who live around here might be annoyed with us. Their connection is stronger to us inside of the shops and restaurants...
Oh. I hope they haven't been watching the trials all along while they've just been trying to eat at McDonald's. That would be embarrassing.
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w4, saturday
Warehouse?
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I knew. The whole time. You were asleep when I found out and then we had to go to trial and I didn't know how to bring it up...
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she will also delete the message she sent from the groupchat history and i am truly so tempted to just delete it here for the visual gag]
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anyway, he is here at the warehouse now ]
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Froggystyle can see this I guess even though they're not technically here yet but while they're on their way he will look at them apologetically AND THEN ALSO SHU SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE--]
...Gerard told me when we went to investigate. I mean--now I don't know if he meant about Haru, or if he... [Y'know.] But I knew they were guilty.
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Haru's not wrong though. People are allowed to be mad they lost loved ones. It makes you lash out when you're mad.
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[If they could trust everyone to understand the situation and put their trust in them, they wouldn't have to do this so secretly to begin with.]
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So. I get why it got so heated at the end there.
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covering up murders is hard.]
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Shu...
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Unless you're about to tell us you took out someone else as well, I want to know some of what happened across the board.
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All the more reason to step back and look elsewhere once I had a hunch.
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I did the final blow. So, it's me.
[ just so yall know. ]
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Killing people's not supposed to be easy.
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It's not a bad thing. It shouldn't be.
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It was my idea.
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You're going to win.
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I really need you to look out for Ylfa, please. And keep yourself safe. I'll find Rin.
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bringing in ylfa is a low blow and he just glares at him very upsettily. ]
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You're a really brave guy, Haru. You're both way more brave than me.
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[she's just so tired and sad. but she mimes giving him an air hug.]
If I had to agree with Gerard last week...
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We shouldn't have to. He should listen to me.
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I know, but...you're the healer, Haru.
[ftr she is just trying to logic because that's what worked on her.]
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I'm actually surprised you know how to use a gun.
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We, ah, missed. With the gun. I finished him with the sword.
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Oh, like a mercy kill then. Once he crashed.
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How did Nahri find out?
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I don't know exactly. Um. ... Fei Du mentioned he knew we were in first.
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But, um, I don't know. Speaking with him he didn't say anything about having any special ability to bring others back?
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[softly:]
I don't think she realizes that by helping put so much attention on all of you, she's made it that much harder to bring them back.
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[And. Well. Sweet Theory also seems like the sort of team that would want to win themselves, so.]
...I'm worried, though. I don't want them coming after you all, but I also...
[Can't stand the thought of them going after Shenhe's team, even if it would be eliminating a potential threat.]
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[because uh. yikes. she looks conflicted.]
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[He knows what she means though. He just doesn't want to phrase it that way.
Though, that being said--he opens his mouth, then hesitates and closes it again, looking at the floor.]
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Pain can make people act out in ways that they wouldn't normally.
[...she looks at kaveh when he hesitates, then reaches for his arm.]
...what's wrong?
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Haru... I'm afraid that if people think Gerard took the fall for you, they might not accept it. [He looks miserable as he says it.] But I'm not sure how much it will matter either way, so...
[Literally the only reason he's not volunteering himself is because he's afraid that it would do more harm than good and push people to get revenge on Froggystyle, even if he begged them not to.]
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[ they're definitely in the lead, but it's not like, morally right for them to keep surviving. he's accepted that. ]
But you're right. I should be out there tomorrow instead of Gerard.
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[Though... he doesn't argue with Haru too much about this. It's between him and his team, and... well. They talked, before... Matsui. So Haru already knows his feelings on certain things.]
...I'm just worried.
[If Froggystyle doesn't win, then Shenhe's death was for nothing.]
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...I know. I don't—this can't have been for nothing.
[ killing people is so fucking hard actually!!!! ]
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[He so wishes there was more he could do. It's so frustrating, feeling this helpless.]
We'll do what we can.
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[He would love to believe that people would leave Haru alone either way, but clearly that's not true.]
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I'm the one being executed tomorrow. That's how it works. Haru hopefully won't be in there.
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...it's true that it would make it very clear who dealt the blow if there was only one person from your team in there, but...
[aaaa bad]
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[ ... wow though. ]
Afterlife is cheap, huh?
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...um. I'm sorry to bring this up... I don't like to think about losing any of you. But, one of the theories that's been going around is that some of the odd messages we've gotten during the week have been from the erased.
Should... we try to come up with some kind of a code, to confirm it...?
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You mean, like, I try and send you all something?
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Something so we'll know it's from you. I've gotten a connection error every time I've tried to write back, so it would have to be something we would recognize just by seeing it.
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[she hates even talking about this though!! god!!!]
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[ frogged even after death huh. ]
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If... we're potentially worried about that.
[sweats in cyoa notes]
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[ stop ]
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listening to him talk about sending messages with a frog in is making her dissolve into ash.]
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...Ylfa and I both got messages. On Friday. If you want to see them.
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Gerard decoded them. They were all scrambled when we got it originally.
Ylfa's:
normally when players are erased they are for all intents and purposes gone kept around on some frequency maybe but less tangible or aware than even folktale ghosts which of course means that having them conscious elsewhere is very much not normal game protocol not exactly against the rules but those running the game wouldn t be pleased to find out so it s important to hide this from them and to err on the side of caution when discussing anything that seems out of place
Haru's:
after all playing by their rules is unavoidable and the only thing preventing any retaliation on their part is whether or not they feel it s worth the effort by that point nothing is gained by blatantly defying them even if it might be tempting to with all the anomalies in this iteration of the reaper s game
...And I got more messages. They're different from before.
[ so they'll also get to see these, though they're on his phone: ]
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Oh, that last one--I got a message from them too. It was just a moving picture, though. [He doesn't know the word gif]
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...I got one from someone called "saintgeorge". It just said "I am so sorry."
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It makes me think... maybe. It could be them. [ it really could be the dead ] It actually has my name.
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[WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MEMES]
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[ he looks so tired. his memes. ]
But we should be careful about sharing them now.
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Do you think so?
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...It's something I've been thinking about. If there's even a chance that the dead are trying to communicate with us like this—we shouldn't be putting it out in public.
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[He doesn't know what information they'd have since they're fucking dead but]
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[ he's helping ]
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[hey becks. how does he prononunce "gif".]
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Again, I’m not the tech expert in my home team.
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