[He's not holding back so much as just. Bracing himself because he absolutely hates having to think this way, he hates everything about this place--but.]
Haru... I'm afraid that if people think Gerard took the fall for you, they might not accept it. [He looks miserable as he says it.] But I'm not sure how much it will matter either way, so...
[Literally the only reason he's not volunteering himself is because he's afraid that it would do more harm than good and push people to get revenge on Froggystyle, even if he begged them not to.]
[Though... he doesn't argue with Haru too much about this. It's between him and his team, and... well. They talked, before... Matsui. So Haru already knows his feelings on certain things.]
...I'm just worried.
[If Froggystyle doesn't win, then Shenhe's death was for nothing.]
[ he really thought if he took all the blame today, people would just call it an eye for an eye when he died. but now gerard is trying to cuck him and me of death and that's simply unreasonable ]
...I know. I don't—this can't have been for nothing.
[ killing people is so fucking hard actually!!!! ]
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[because uh. yikes. she looks conflicted.]
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[He knows what she means though. He just doesn't want to phrase it that way.
Though, that being said--he opens his mouth, then hesitates and closes it again, looking at the floor.]
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Pain can make people act out in ways that they wouldn't normally.
[...she looks at kaveh when he hesitates, then reaches for his arm.]
...what's wrong?
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Haru... I'm afraid that if people think Gerard took the fall for you, they might not accept it. [He looks miserable as he says it.] But I'm not sure how much it will matter either way, so...
[Literally the only reason he's not volunteering himself is because he's afraid that it would do more harm than good and push people to get revenge on Froggystyle, even if he begged them not to.]
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[ they're definitely in the lead, but it's not like, morally right for them to keep surviving. he's accepted that. ]
But you're right. I should be out there tomorrow instead of Gerard.
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[Though... he doesn't argue with Haru too much about this. It's between him and his team, and... well. They talked, before... Matsui. So Haru already knows his feelings on certain things.]
...I'm just worried.
[If Froggystyle doesn't win, then Shenhe's death was for nothing.]
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...I know. I don't—this can't have been for nothing.
[ killing people is so fucking hard actually!!!! ]
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[He so wishes there was more he could do. It's so frustrating, feeling this helpless.]
We'll do what we can.
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[He would love to believe that people would leave Haru alone either way, but clearly that's not true.]
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I'm the one being executed tomorrow. That's how it works. Haru hopefully won't be in there.
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...it's true that it would make it very clear who dealt the blow if there was only one person from your team in there, but...
[aaaa bad]