[It's fine, Kaveh is basically a disney princess which is ultimately the same thing is a dramatic storybook 12-year-old.]
I don't hate you.
[First and foremost--because he can't stand the idea of letting them, of letting her, walk away thinking that he does. He won't ever forgive himself for not clearing the air with Buzen properly, and he won't do that again.]
I meant it when I said I understood. And Shenhe... [He closes his eyes for a moment.] I know Shenhe likely would have acted, sooner or later. I'd asked her to tell me, if she felt like she was getting to that point.
[Whether she actually would have or not is a total mystery, of course. He knows she probably thought him too fragile to handle the reality of their situation. He can't speak for Lambda or her team one way or the other, so he leaves that aside.]
I just wish you'd trusted us a little more. Especially afterward. [And before, if he's totally honest--but that's a selfish, personal wound, and he's trying very, very hard to channel logic.]
Even if our worlds weren't at stake, I can't hold a desire to survive against you. [He can't approve of Shenhe's death, can't promise to forgive them or be happy about this, but he's been telling himself this since the beginning anyway. If he doesn't stand by his words now that push has come to shove, what does that make him?] But we have to be able to trust you. And we can't do that if we're questioning whether you're being truthful, or whether you're holding things back from us.
[There's nothing they can do about this now. Kaveh isn't a vengeful person to begin with, but even if he had been, outing them would accomplish nothing. And he does trust that they have good intentions. He has to trust that, or he'll never be able to face Shenhe's team ever again. So he does his best to focus on the now, on the later, rather than what's already come to pass.]
I'm not saying you need to tell us everything you plan on doing. I'm not sure you could anyway--I know Buzen was worried about the consequences. [Whatever the fuck those are.] But we can't just tell you everything we learn and let you do what you will with it, without any input on our end. That can't be how this works.
That's fair. You're right - I think at the end of the day, we're going to have to make some decisions as a team. But that means you shouldn't have to tell us things when you know it might lead to things you won't agree with...
I can't promise we'll tell you everything, and I don't expect you to tell us everything, but we decided to tell you this now. We knew it was dangerous, but we didn't want you to be wondering who was in the lead when we could change that.
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no subject
I don't hate you.
[First and foremost--because he can't stand the idea of letting them, of letting her, walk away thinking that he does. He won't ever forgive himself for not clearing the air with Buzen properly, and he won't do that again.]
I meant it when I said I understood. And Shenhe... [He closes his eyes for a moment.] I know Shenhe likely would have acted, sooner or later. I'd asked her to tell me, if she felt like she was getting to that point.
[Whether she actually would have or not is a total mystery, of course. He knows she probably thought him too fragile to handle the reality of their situation. He can't speak for Lambda or her team one way or the other, so he leaves that aside.]
I just wish you'd trusted us a little more. Especially afterward. [And before, if he's totally honest--but that's a selfish, personal wound, and he's trying very, very hard to channel logic.]
Even if our worlds weren't at stake, I can't hold a desire to survive against you. [He can't approve of Shenhe's death, can't promise to forgive them or be happy about this, but he's been telling himself this since the beginning anyway. If he doesn't stand by his words now that push has come to shove, what does that make him?] But we have to be able to trust you. And we can't do that if we're questioning whether you're being truthful, or whether you're holding things back from us.
[There's nothing they can do about this now. Kaveh isn't a vengeful person to begin with, but even if he had been, outing them would accomplish nothing. And he does trust that they have good intentions. He has to trust that, or he'll never be able to face Shenhe's team ever again. So he does his best to focus on the now, on the later, rather than what's already come to pass.]
I'm not saying you need to tell us everything you plan on doing. I'm not sure you could anyway--I know Buzen was worried about the consequences. [Whatever the fuck those are.] But we can't just tell you everything we learn and let you do what you will with it, without any input on our end. That can't be how this works.
no subject
That's fair. You're right - I think at the end of the day, we're going to have to make some decisions as a team. But that means you shouldn't have to tell us things when you know it might lead to things you won't agree with...
I can't promise we'll tell you everything, and I don't expect you to tell us everything, but we decided to tell you this now. We knew it was dangerous, but we didn't want you to be wondering who was in the lead when we could change that.