... Yesterday I kept thinking... Strategically, if we want to risk the fewest people—it would make sense to vote for the biggest teams no matter what happened. I was nervous about it all night.
And then no one thought that way at all. It should be a relief but I can't get there yet.
Alex. Even if you all had killed someone, I wouldn't have voted for you.
[ even if they had ended up one of the teams "competing" against them at trial today, he doesn't care. ]
It's not all about numbers. Strategically, you're right. But Matsui told me—some things aren't worth living after. And we're really bad at strategy anyway.
[ team tbd like these are our blorbos and they can kill a man as a treat ]
...Some people are righteous like that. [ he doesn't really get it himself. ] But it's also their hurt talking. Maybe they'll understand when it's their friends in trouble.
[ haru's not really like, a bitter person, so this is not said with any malice. ]
[ it's kind of nice to know that she is indeed mad ]
Honestly. I'm a little mad too. [ even if he has no right to be. even if he's been trying very hard to be empathetic, and does feel guilty. there's no way he can accept this with absolute grace. ] There's no reasoning with feelings.
[ ... ] I appreciate it. That you're angry for us. It means a lot, Alex.
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And then no one thought that way at all. It should be a relief but I can't get there yet.
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Alex. Even if you all had killed someone, I wouldn't have voted for you.
[ even if they had ended up one of the teams "competing" against them at trial today, he doesn't care. ]
It's not all about numbers. Strategically, you're right. But Matsui told me—some things aren't worth living after. And we're really bad at strategy anyway.
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Matsui is wrong about that. People can come back from a lot.
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You think so? It's been hard, figuring out what I'm willing to live with doing.
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[ just announcing that very plainly. it's fine. ]
But, yeah. It is hard. I'll give you that much...
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Yeah. ...It'd be nice if anything here were a little easier.
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But it's not. So it's stupid for anyone to act like it's some... black and white, good and bad, evil that you guys committed.
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...Some people are righteous like that. [ he doesn't really get it himself. ] But it's also their hurt talking. Maybe they'll understand when it's their friends in trouble.
[ haru's not really like, a bitter person, so this is not said with any malice. ]
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I'm still mad. ... But I'd get just as righteous about it if it was Jonas or someone from my team. I know that.
... But I'm still mad. [ she doesn't have to keep saying that. ]
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Honestly. I'm a little mad too. [ even if he has no right to be. even if he's been trying very hard to be empathetic, and does feel guilty. there's no way he can accept this with absolute grace. ] There's no reasoning with feelings.
[ ... ] I appreciate it. That you're angry for us. It means a lot, Alex.
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[ which she doesn't mean as if she's denying it, just that he's good at covering it up. staying calm. she's not as good at that. ]