[ they can hang out in the escape rooms, but there's not much time to enjoy the puzzles when a memory hits. i'm so sorry you may need to log into your homos account for this!!
this is a meaty thread and i don't expect you to read it all but the gist of it is: two exhausted kids at the end of a now long murder rope, already with the most kills of any team, having two friends volunteer to be murderered by them to make sure they win the reaper's game. ylfa, the red-cloaked girl who sticks close to him, is twelve, but carries herself with an air of experience in these matters, a nearly animal approach to death and violence at her hand; haru's feelings towards her are both protectiveness and fondness that at this point borders on codependence. yuzuriha and netzach are teammates, who he also cares deeply for, as they've been allies for some time. his emotions are broadly grieving, torn between relief and also anger, at himself and at them and the game at large. it's the weariness of having been at this for over a month, the responsibility on their shoulders, the karmic understanding of hurting people because they were selfish enough to try and save their team. the reaper's game is a game of numbers and strategy, but they are not motivated by either.
the memory ends without any murder, yet the promise of it lingers. ]
Weren't we all...? [ but yeah, it sucked. ] ...At first, it was to win the competition to come back to life. Then, it was to make sure our worlds didn't end. By then, we were earning points to make sure we could revive everyone.
[ it gets very fucky because the game escalated and changed every week but that's the gist of it ]
I don't like thinking about people as numbers though. Ylfa... my teammate and I weren't good at that part.
That's the hard part. Staying human... Ylfa accepted the monstrous parts of herself, but I liked the human parts of us. Of everyone here. [ even if they all eventually do terrible things and cast terrible judgments. ]
[ he tries not to underestimate kids because his teammate was Death and also twelve, but he can't imagine things are easy for her anyway. moreso given the circumstances than her age. we have killed so many scawwys/scawwy adjacents. ]
The stakes are just as high this time, but it feels more—...transparent.
[ YEAHHHh thinks about how high their body counts are
before he can respond, he's hit by the memory—and it really does feel like a blow. their circumstances are very different—kate was possessed by something, and he was not—yet the train of thought and the bloodshed is about the same.
still, he's paled a little at the violence when they emerge. ]
[ he's quiet, stewing in the memory a moment. in the brief silence, a voice in a memory speaks.
"Do you want to win? ...Did you know, too? That we were never going to win by having the highest coolness and swimability. But it was a game that I was having fun playing."
"I knew. But I was having fun too." ]
I wish friendship was enough. [ that teamwork and camaraderie and innocently avoiding the inevitable was enough, alone. but even so, ] It still means something, though.
I'd been going to him for help. Because he knew the monster inside of me had taken control. But he ended up getting killed, because he was helping me...
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w3 mon
this is a meaty thread and i don't expect you to read it all but the gist of it is: two exhausted kids at the end of a now long murder rope, already with the most kills of any team, having two friends volunteer to be murderered by them to make sure they win the reaper's game. ylfa, the red-cloaked girl who sticks close to him, is twelve, but carries herself with an air of experience in these matters, a nearly animal approach to death and violence at her hand; haru's feelings towards her are both protectiveness and fondness that at this point borders on codependence. yuzuriha and netzach are teammates, who he also cares deeply for, as they've been allies for some time. his emotions are broadly grieving, torn between relief and also anger, at himself and at them and the game at large. it's the weariness of having been at this for over a month, the responsibility on their shoulders, the karmic understanding of hurting people because they were selfish enough to try and save their team. the reaper's game is a game of numbers and strategy, but they are not motivated by either.
the memory ends without any murder, yet the promise of it lingers. ]
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the memory ends, and there's a faint haze of smoke above kate's head. ]
So that was the nature of your "game"... You needed to kill that many, for points...?
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...It was a competition. Killing, killing without being caught, it all had different point values. To get the numbers we needed...
[ he trails off a bit, yet sufficed to say, it was a lot. ]
But it wasn't like the ones where you get "possessed." I won't say what we did was right.
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What were the numbers for?
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[ it gets very fucky because the game escalated and changed every week but that's the gist of it ]
I don't like thinking about people as numbers though. Ylfa... my teammate and I weren't good at that part.
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[ a pause, and he sighs. ]
That's the hard part. Staying human... Ylfa accepted the monstrous parts of herself, but I liked the human parts of us. Of everyone here. [ even if they all eventually do terrible things and cast terrible judgments. ]
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[ he tries not to underestimate kids because his teammate was Death and also twelve, but he can't imagine things are easy for her anyway. moreso given the circumstances than her age. we have killed so many scawwys/scawwy adjacents. ]
The stakes are just as high this time, but it feels more—...transparent.
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[ well,
there's another wind that blows through here and gives us another memory! trades you serial killer lore for serial killer lore. ]
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before he can respond, he's hit by the memory—and it really does feel like a blow. their circumstances are very different—kate was possessed by something, and he was not—yet the train of thought and the bloodshed is about the same.
still, he's paled a little at the violence when they emerge. ]
—Ah. [ ah. ] You've had a hard time too.
[ being toyed with, indeed. ]
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[ she goes a little still, smoke rising from her head. ]
Yes. I suppose so.
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"Do you want to win? ...Did you know, too? That we were never going to win by having the highest coolness and swimability. But it was a game that I was having fun playing."
"I knew. But I was having fun too." ]
I wish friendship was enough. [ that teamwork and camaraderie and innocently avoiding the inevitable was enough, alone. but even so, ] It still means something, though.
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I'd been going to him for help. Because he knew the monster inside of me had taken control. But he ended up getting killed, because he was helping me...
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But it doesn't sound like he regretted helping you. More like... he was disappointed he couldn't help you more.