"It's not selfish", Haru says, and Matsui doesn't even wish that he could believe him because he's a fuckin self-flagellative maniac. But at the very least, he can appreciate the intention behind the words being said. It is his wish. It is his love, however cruel it may be.
The question has his emotions shifting again, leaning back to the state of sheer misery he'd been in before Haru had arrived. It's an agonizing decision that they've placed in his hands, though he doesn't hold even the slightest scrap of ill will toward a single one of them.]
...I... [The words turn over in his head, in his heart. He folds his hands together tightly.] ...I wish to follow him.
[More than anything, he wants to follow Buzen. He was literally born into this world in the throes of pain, asking why he had been made, and so very little that he's experienced in his short time as a human has shown him that anything in life is worth sticking around for.
His heart hurts so badly, but...]
If our world is at risk, then I can't. [And that kills him just the same. It's an exquisite, excruciating agony that sears him to the bone. Quieter:] If we lost it all because of my selfishness, I would never be able to face him again.
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"It's not selfish", Haru says, and Matsui doesn't even wish that he could believe him because he's a fuckin self-flagellative maniac. But at the very least, he can appreciate the intention behind the words being said. It is his wish. It is his love, however cruel it may be.
The question has his emotions shifting again, leaning back to the state of sheer misery he'd been in before Haru had arrived. It's an agonizing decision that they've placed in his hands, though he doesn't hold even the slightest scrap of ill will toward a single one of them.]
...I... [The words turn over in his head, in his heart. He folds his hands together tightly.] ...I wish to follow him.
[More than anything, he wants to follow Buzen. He was literally born into this world in the throes of pain, asking why he had been made, and so very little that he's experienced in his short time as a human has shown him that anything in life is worth sticking around for.
His heart hurts so badly, but...]
If our world is at risk, then I can't. [And that kills him just the same. It's an exquisite, excruciating agony that sears him to the bone. Quieter:] If we lost it all because of my selfishness, I would never be able to face him again.