pc: shu

[squirt]

Comments

[squirt]

[ now you know that alli and i have to fight to the fucking death to die tomorrow but

he's chilling at the pool, his legs in the water. ]

Shu. [ ... ] Sorry. I just turned the lights off out of habit. [ to save on his electricity bill... ] I'd never frame you guys.

[roseoftexas]

[ shut the heck up. nutrayal. ]

It was easily cleared up. Bad timing with whoever nicked my pin though, not that it matters in the long run.

[squirt]

[ wow ]

...Still. I didn't think it'd implicate you. ...I don't know who stole your pin.

[roseoftexas]

I'd like to know myself. Specifically why they bothered.

[ he shrugs. ]

I didn't feel very implicated, if it helps.

[squirt]

Good.

[ ... ] I know that's unfair to say. We've framed people too.

[roseoftexas]

Fairness doesn't really come into it here. It's a hard pill to swallow for people, I think.

[squirt]

You don't think so?

[ he's just curious. ]

[roseoftexas]

If things were fair, no one would be having to murder each other for the chance to come back. We’d all be dead, as we’d expect.

Maybe that’s not your traditional sense of fair, but— we are all already dead.

[squirt]

...Mm.

There's still things I won't do to win. But nothing feels fair. No matter what we do.

[ and that's probably by design. ]

[roseoftexas]

I don't think you need to compromise what you're willing to do more than you have. Agreeing to end a life is already a massive thing.

[squirt]

...I don't think that's true. If we don't win—all of this will have been for nothing.

[ that feels even worse. ]

If we just—if it was about winning, we could've stopped. It would've been safer not to make any more moves. But we have to do more. It has to count for something.

[roseoftexas]

Nah, that's not what I mean. You've already made a huge compromise to yourself by going along with this in the first place. There's still things you won't do to win -- that's fine. That's why you have teams and alliances.

[ ... ] I'm used to doing stuff alone, but I know having a team with you helps.

That's what I don't think there's anything wrong with. You're allowed to keep a bit of your humanity. It doesn't seem to me like you've forgotten what it is you're doing.

[ "Never forget that you're choosing to end a life." ]

[squirt]

[ having a team and people he can trust definitely helps. even if it means involving them too. they've really dragged go to sleep into their weird self-induced maf bullshit.

he answers quickly. ]

I don't see how anyone could ever forget.

[ he's just a guy. thinking about how things went with fei du makes him like, physically ill if he dwells on it for very long. he's usually good at keeping his cool, but there's a slight shakiness to his voice. ]

I don't even like knowing that I'm capable of it.

[roseoftexas]

[ haru, sadly thinking about the literal hitman: i can’t believe we made him think about killing. (“what about kaveh?”) kaveh is already in the emotional blender, shu and nahida are just trying not to papoose him because he’d yell at them. ]

You’d be surprised. There’s a lot of people out there who kill purely because it’s good business.

[ humanity and empathy is precious, and tyra lyn o’keefe spent most of her life drilling that into shu and yang’s heads over and over until her mantra and her guide words are the two things he quotes before going in for a kill. ]

… Look. I’m not going to tell you to stop, because you’ve mind up your mind you’re doing this. And I’m not going to pretend it’s going to be easy going forward, because I don’t think it will be. But you can talk to me about it, if you need to talk to someone outside of your team about it. [ because. well. gerard isn’t going to be around for much longer thanks sunday. ]