[ the way i had to go find what i gave you in homo and it was apparently the canonpoint i used for his death. anyway. we are at clown college to be clowns. ]
You think they have the option to add places onto this side? [ he is just browsing through and trying to decide why in the fuck this exists. ] I mean... maybe. If they got bored enough, sure.
[ we love to be clowns as we suffer between missions and curses and cyoa and memshare. anyway this memory is very eerie, but so was jonas's first one, so really he just gets to go along for the creepy oxenfree ride four times.
he grimaces lightly as they come out of it. speaking of the dead, ]
...I saw one of your memories last time. [ he says kind of apologetically, like sorry about the invasion of privacy but literally we cannot control these things ] It was... haunted, definitely. But different from this.
[ oh i'm actually really glad you did this because he sort of pales. ]
... it... went differently that time. [ sometimes you play in one round as a first-run version and this time you're ng+. ] I don't... we didn't leave a recording that time, because we didn't know we had to.
[ COOL. GREAT. WELL. alex had already told him they escaped the island repeatedly, but this is the first time he's actually seen proof other than her word. ]
It still ended the same though. It's just that, ah... the last time it happened I never came back. [ he died after that and became god. so. that's fine. ]
[ oopsie doopsie. he does look contrite about giving jonas such an unfortunate memory, tinged with very normal grief even amidst supernatural circumstances, but also he frowns. ]
...I don't totally get what's happening to you guys.
[ it's very eerie and usually he isn't nosy enough to ask but like. this is game two. ]
[ i hope haru looks back on this conversation now after our cyoa and understands better.
but this is game two, and so he nods. ]
... the island we were on that night was haunted by ghosts. Well. They weren't exactly ghosts, it's just... easier to call them that. Lost souls that had been trapped in a rift outside of our dimension or something like that. And the ghosts were the ones causing all of the loops, keeping us trapped with them over and over because they were trying to find a way to possess us permanently to leave the island. Alex was always better at spotting when something looped on us. I started noticing little things the more it happened.
[ BAD... it also explains quite a lot about alex in general. his expression doesn't tend to shift in great degrees without duress, but it softens with clear sympathy now. ]
...I'm sorry. All that, just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
[ IT SURE DOES, and this is where jonas gets caught a lot of the time because alex definitely ruined a lot and tormented a bunch of people and he's still angry about that, but a lot less now that he's really absorbing and understanding what else was happening. trying to explain that to other people though is always hit or miss, because he still finds himself not fully understanding the loops themselves.
but there's a thin smile with that. ]
I do think about it sometimes still. The Alex and Jonas who received that warning not to go to the island. I wonder if they listened, or what they might've done with their night instead. Maybe things went better for them, and there's a Jonas out there sleeping through world history again while trying to catch up in school. Maybe there's an Alex who finally felt like somebody had her back. I dunno. [ he shakes his head. ] Wrong place, wrong time. We just do the best we can with this time now.
[ at least haru will now understand loops. not to the level of mastery that they do, naturally, but no one's going to turn out Okay from that. ]
Ah. I didn't realize you were a slacker. [ gentle ribbing. ] We'll all do what we can. And... I hope it means things can turn out better for you both. I hate being here, but maybe it could be an opportunity.
[ not for haru who gains absolutely nothing from being here, but for them. ]
[ haru could earn something here if he wanted... but he recognizes the ribbing for what it is and laughs a little even if it's deeply unfunny as an overall situation. ]
An idiot slacker, no less, according to a lot of my teachers. [ sometimes people say things to you and you internalize them and lean into that anyway. ] It's one of those things where... I don't know. I hate that we're all here. But I'm kind of glad for the other people I've met and the places I've heard about. I'm not interested in things only being better for me and Alex. It's just like the reason I started my project. I think people deserve that chance, or at least deserve to be given the tools to try.
[ who would do that... just kill someone for stuff...
anyway his teachers have clearly never heard of a self fulfilling prophesy? geez. ]
...I think it's a good idea. [ hmmm ] Last game, I learned a lot about how you change what you do to survive. So if a place is bad, you do worse things, because that's what it takes.
[ he is still judgmental of some people but more understanding than he could be. ]
It's not bad to give people a chance to try to do better.
It's like... it's that idea that the end justifies the means, right? You may not want them to, but sometimes your morals have to slide a little to make sure you're able to get out alive, and keep the people you care about safe. It's kind of one of those things you never think about until you're faced with the decision. I can't appropriately judge people without understanding the position they were put in.
You, for instance... I don't believe you would have done everything if there was a better choice. Kinda like I believe you looked for another choice and this was it. But those choices aren't the only thing that makes you Haru Nanase, right? So why shouldn't a person be given the chance to do better? [ a pause. ] I mean if people are gonna waste that chance and do worse, there's no helping that, but you get my point.
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no subject
You think they have the option to add places onto this side? [ he is just browsing through and trying to decide why in the fuck this exists. ] I mean... maybe. If they got bored enough, sure.
[ and speaking of bored, behold, a memory until 1:06:30 ]
no subject
[ we love to be clowns as we suffer between missions and curses and cyoa and memshare. anyway this memory is very eerie, but so was jonas's first one, so really he just gets to go along for the creepy oxenfree ride four times.
he grimaces lightly as they come out of it. speaking of the dead, ]
...Ghosts?
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... guess Alex and I never really told you that part. But yeah. Ghosts.
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...I saw one of your memories last time. [ he says kind of apologetically, like sorry about the invasion of privacy but literally we cannot control these things ] It was... haunted, definitely. But different from this.
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which is just to memshare his own memory back at him ]
...
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... it... went differently that time. [ sometimes you play in one round as a first-run version and this time you're ng+. ] I don't... we didn't leave a recording that time, because we didn't know we had to.
[ COOL. GREAT. WELL. alex had already told him they escaped the island repeatedly, but this is the first time he's actually seen proof other than her word. ]
It still ended the same though. It's just that, ah... the last time it happened I never came back. [ he died after that and became god. so. that's fine. ]
no subject
...I don't totally get what's happening to you guys.
[ it's very eerie and usually he isn't nosy enough to ask but like. this is game two. ]
You have all these... loops?
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but this is game two, and so he nods. ]
... the island we were on that night was haunted by ghosts. Well. They weren't exactly ghosts, it's just... easier to call them that. Lost souls that had been trapped in a rift outside of our dimension or something like that. And the ghosts were the ones causing all of the loops, keeping us trapped with them over and over because they were trying to find a way to possess us permanently to leave the island. Alex was always better at spotting when something looped on us. I started noticing little things the more it happened.
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this is a lot to absorb, but he nods slowly. ]
...So they were looking for an opening. [ and kept them trapped there in loops as a means for that. ] Did you manage to get out...?
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Yeah, basically. Alex said we always leave the island, but it just loops us back after a while and we start over. [ so. bad. but he sort of shrugs. ]
... the only way both of us got out of the loop was by dying. So I guess so.
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...I'm sorry. All that, just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
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but there's a thin smile with that. ]
I do think about it sometimes still. The Alex and Jonas who received that warning not to go to the island. I wonder if they listened, or what they might've done with their night instead. Maybe things went better for them, and there's a Jonas out there sleeping through world history again while trying to catch up in school. Maybe there's an Alex who finally felt like somebody had her back. I dunno. [ he shakes his head. ] Wrong place, wrong time. We just do the best we can with this time now.
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Ah. I didn't realize you were a slacker. [ gentle ribbing. ] We'll all do what we can. And... I hope it means things can turn out better for you both. I hate being here, but maybe it could be an opportunity.
[ not for haru who gains absolutely nothing from being here, but for them. ]
no subject
An idiot slacker, no less, according to a lot of my teachers. [ sometimes people say things to you and you internalize them and lean into that anyway. ] It's one of those things where... I don't know. I hate that we're all here. But I'm kind of glad for the other people I've met and the places I've heard about. I'm not interested in things only being better for me and Alex. It's just like the reason I started my project. I think people deserve that chance, or at least deserve to be given the tools to try.
no subject
anyway his teachers have clearly never heard of a self fulfilling prophesy? geez. ]
...I think it's a good idea. [ hmmm ] Last game, I learned a lot about how you change what you do to survive. So if a place is bad, you do worse things, because that's what it takes.
[ he is still judgmental of some people but more understanding than he could be. ]
It's not bad to give people a chance to try to do better.
no subject
It's like... it's that idea that the end justifies the means, right? You may not want them to, but sometimes your morals have to slide a little to make sure you're able to get out alive, and keep the people you care about safe. It's kind of one of those things you never think about until you're faced with the decision. I can't appropriately judge people without understanding the position they were put in.
You, for instance... I don't believe you would have done everything if there was a better choice. Kinda like I believe you looked for another choice and this was it. But those choices aren't the only thing that makes you Haru Nanase, right? So why shouldn't a person be given the chance to do better? [ a pause. ] I mean if people are gonna waste that chance and do worse, there's no helping that, but you get my point.