![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Me neither. Gerard was right about swords.
[ they really are honorable in a way he can't even comprehend. maybe they should've teamed up with them so they wouldn't kill rin. lol. ]
...I guess it was that easy. But I still don't understand Rin's message.
[ they really are honorable in a way he can't even comprehend. maybe they should've teamed up with them so they wouldn't kill rin. lol. ]
...I guess it was that easy. But I still don't understand Rin's message.
I don't understand, either. But he was trying to help us, after all.
[it doesn't really make her feel better. it makes her sad, to picture rin having to think of those things, to make plans for after he's gone.]
[it doesn't really make her feel better. it makes her sad, to picture rin having to think of those things, to make plans for after he's gone.]
[ rin really had left them all the needed to solve this. haru had been angry at him—for dying, for not giving them a better hallucination, for a lot of things—but rin had done almost everything right, actually. haru's the one who couldn't really piece it together. ]
He must've been. [ ... ] You're right. He'd been fighting.
I should appreciate how brave that is. But... I can't stop thinking of how scared he must've been.
He must've been. [ ... ] You're right. He'd been fighting.
I should appreciate how brave that is. But... I can't stop thinking of how scared he must've been.
[yeah. yeah...]
I know. Me too. I just wish I'd been there too, to help him.
I know. Me too. I just wish I'd been there too, to help him.
[i'm not sure that's true. she liked the way rin always tried to comfort her. that's why she always tried to let him feel like he'd succeeded.
sometimes it's better to lean against someone and just be sad.]
We can. It's just...harder than I thought it would be.
sometimes it's better to lean against someone and just be sad.]
We can. It's just...harder than I thought it would be.
[ sometimes all you can do is feel sad together. ]
...It is. [ he'd really thought that if they focused on working with others and making themselves a small target, they wouldn't be hit. as scared as he'd been for his safety, he'd thought rin's kindness would attract a different sort of attention.
he just lets things be quiet for a moment, but that gets oppressive. ] What do you want to do now, Ylfa? I'll help you and Gerard no matter what.
[ from the tightness in his voice, it's not nobility, but desperation—they're all that's left. ]
...It is. [ he'd really thought that if they focused on working with others and making themselves a small target, they wouldn't be hit. as scared as he'd been for his safety, he'd thought rin's kindness would attract a different sort of attention.
he just lets things be quiet for a moment, but that gets oppressive. ] What do you want to do now, Ylfa? I'll help you and Gerard no matter what.
[ from the tightness in his voice, it's not nobility, but desperation—they're all that's left. ]
[she tilts her head to look at him, trying to understand what he means.]
I don't want to lose anyone else. That's all.
I don't want to lose anyone else. That's all.
Me neither.
[ he looks off at nothing in particular. a weird splotch on the concrete of their warehouse. their colorful, eclectic furniture that seems too bright now. ]
Someone asked me what I would do now. Because getting Rin back means I have to win. When... I would've been okay. Just living out the time we have. [ as long as they worked hard together. as long as they survived. ]
[ he looks off at nothing in particular. a weird splotch on the concrete of their warehouse. their colorful, eclectic furniture that seems too bright now. ]
Someone asked me what I would do now. Because getting Rin back means I have to win. When... I would've been okay. Just living out the time we have. [ as long as they worked hard together. as long as they survived. ]
Do you want to win?
[she swallows, looking at it as well. the portrait of all of them as birds, the balloons, which are probably deflated by now. their chart of team ratings]
...Did you know, too? That we were never going to win by having the highest coolness and swimability. But it was a game that I was having fun playing.
[she swallows, looking at it as well. the portrait of all of them as birds, the balloons, which are probably deflated by now. their chart of team ratings]
...Did you know, too? That we were never going to win by having the highest coolness and swimability. But it was a game that I was having fun playing.
[ he doesn't answer the first question right away. ]
I knew. [ he thinks at heart, no matter how lighthearted things were, they all knew. rin, too. he sounds defeated, though he smiles as a helpless little gesture. ] But I was having fun too. We're a good team. ...The best one here.
[ not because he thought they would soundly beat out the competition with their coolness alone, but he felt they were on the same wavelength. he looks over rin's messy handwriting on their wall, bumpy with the uneven texture. it's bold and brash; each word he wrote is bigger than haru's tidy notes. like even that was a competition between them. ]
I don't want to win. I've never cared about winning anything—Rin's always been the competitive one. I don't know... where to go. Since he isn't pushing me anymore.
But I can't lose you and Gerard, either.
I knew. [ he thinks at heart, no matter how lighthearted things were, they all knew. rin, too. he sounds defeated, though he smiles as a helpless little gesture. ] But I was having fun too. We're a good team. ...The best one here.
[ not because he thought they would soundly beat out the competition with their coolness alone, but he felt they were on the same wavelength. he looks over rin's messy handwriting on their wall, bumpy with the uneven texture. it's bold and brash; each word he wrote is bigger than haru's tidy notes. like even that was a competition between them. ]
I don't want to win. I've never cared about winning anything—Rin's always been the competitive one. I don't know... where to go. Since he isn't pushing me anymore.
But I can't lose you and Gerard, either.
The best one.
[she agrees. they all died and were forced into a murder competition and it was still fun. they were happy for a little while. it hurts to lose that most of all.]
I can try to push you, if that's what you need. But I don't really want to. I like you the way you are.
[she agrees. they all died and were forced into a murder competition and it was still fun. they were happy for a little while. it hurts to lose that most of all.]
I can try to push you, if that's what you need. But I don't really want to. I like you the way you are.
[ stupidly, it was happy. there were times he was scared, but he let himself have fun with it.
he leans his head forward to press onto his knees, and doesn't move. ]
...Let's talk to Gerard.
[ he's not good at making decisions. he is not the swim captain of his club. ]
Ylfa. I like you as you are, too. [ so don't go anywhere. ]
he leans his head forward to press onto his knees, and doesn't move. ]
...Let's talk to Gerard.
[ he's not good at making decisions. he is not the swim captain of his club. ]
Ylfa. I like you as you are, too. [ so don't go anywhere. ]
[she puts a hand on his shoulder, not sure to say. but she wants that to be true, that he likes her the way she is.
...talking to gerard seems like a good idea.]
...talking to gerard seems like a good idea.]
Steal...?
[hmm. she looks around at some of the shadow people.]
They might yell at you...?
[oh also someone finally made her take a bath and get the tangles out of her braids and wash her clothes. thank god.]
[hmm. she looks around at some of the shadow people.]
They might yell at you...?
[oh also someone finally made her take a bath and get the tangles out of her braids and wash her clothes. thank god.]
Edited 2023-06-28 00:22 (UTC)
Whoa.
[haru is so cool. doesn't even mind if an adult yells at him.]
What if you get in trouble? You could go to jail, or worse, you could come back and get the feeling that no one wants you here!
[haru is so cool. doesn't even mind if an adult yells at him.]
What if you get in trouble? You could go to jail, or worse, you could come back and get the feeling that no one wants you here!
[but some of us have a hard time knowing which is which.]
You're so brave, Haru. Let's steal a puppy for the warehouse.
[that is the one thing you cannot steal.]
You're so brave, Haru. Let's steal a puppy for the warehouse.
[that is the one thing you cannot steal.]
[ this is how she gets yelled at for yet another week ]
I don't know if we can take care of a dog... [ read: what if they die and this dog is just left alone and sad, would that be fucked up or what ] We can go take a look, though.
[ maybe they can get her some doggie shampoo. just opening the door to the shop surrounds them with cheerful dog barking and chirping and what have you. ]
I don't know if we can take care of a dog... [ read: what if they die and this dog is just left alone and sad, would that be fucked up or what ] We can go take a look, though.
[ maybe they can get her some doggie shampoo. just opening the door to the shop surrounds them with cheerful dog barking and chirping and what have you. ]
[the puppy store is so cute.]
You're right, it's probably not responsible.
You're right, it's probably not responsible.
[ he's responsible enough not to pick up a dog when they might die in six weeks, but not responsible enough to teach her important life lessons, like don't shoplift. ]
We can get stuff like shampoo though.
[ for her. ]
Looks like someone helped you with your hair already though.
We can get stuff like shampoo though.
[ for her. ]
Looks like someone helped you with your hair already though.
That's smart. Let's do it.
[also, she nods.]
They got a little tangled, huh. I want to be a full member of this team!
[what does that have to do with it. sometimes your frog stepdad says weird things during an awkward conversation.]
[also, she nods.]
They got a little tangled, huh. I want to be a full member of this team!
[what does that have to do with it. sometimes your frog stepdad says weird things during an awkward conversation.]
[she was getting stressed at the end there. unlike me, she didn't think haru did anything, but...stress.]
I'm so relieved we were right.
I'm so relieved we were right.
Page 4 of 10