[listen we didn't coordinate we didn't coordinate. she watches them react, but she can tell it's shenhe especially that's devastating them, so in a small voice she'll say - ]

I loved Shenhe, too. She was always so kind to me. She was the only person here who really understood me sometimes, I think.

[she swallows hard.]

But it's like I told you, Nahida. Gerard made a decision. Sometimes the only choices you have are to do something ugly or die. And I think, in that situation, Gerard did the least ugly thing he could have. Both of us only wanted to target people who also believed that surviving here would mean playing by ugly rules, we wanted to respect the people who didn't believe in them. And Shenhe...Shenhe and I...we'd already made plans together.