[ for the most part, he listens to his team explain while trying to maintain a poker face, but by the time gerard says that's he expendable(!!), his expression cracks a little and he's feeling Some Kinda Way (the way is Insanely Bad). he just opens and closes his hands from slack to a tight fist here and again, not sure what to do with them otherwise. ]

...We panicked. None of us realized how badly it would go with Simon. We should've known that it would. We didn't really think it through. And then Hot Mess had four people, so we—that wasn't planned. We just panicked.

I know it doesn't make it better. It's not an excuse. But you should know everything that happened. Sorry.